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10.1.06 Travels with Max by Jon Worley When I was five, a month before I started kindergarten, I took the train with my dad to visit my grandma, who was in Houston getting cancer treatments. Although I didn't know it at the time, this was go-round #2 with the disease, and no one was exactly sure how it would turn out. In the end, she made it another five years until the effects of a second recurrence took her. I remember two things from that trip. I remember leaving Salina, Kan., in the middle of the night and driving down to the train station in Wichita. At some point, "Delta Dawn" came on the radio, and my dad and I sang it (very badly). I'd never heard the song before, but I haven't been able to shake it since. The second thing I remember is the revelation (from my dad) that "The Hair Bears" had been canceled and that I had all of a month to enjoy watching them until they were taken off the Saturday morning lineup. I don't know if he told me this news gleefully, but I can say that I have since seen re-runs of "The Hair Bears," and if he did let loose a little satisfaction at not having to watch that show again, I completely understand. The reason there haven't been columns for a couple weeks is that Max and I went down to Albuquerque one weekend and then up to Denver for the next. Given all the excitement, the bros and I decided to skip columns for a couple weeks. We like to write, but we'll also take just about any excuse to take a break. Now, though, we're back in business. So I thought I'd give you my version of the family slide show. While we were in Albuquerque, Max:
Not bad for a four-and-a-half-year-old, really. He always seems to remember something different when he recounts his tales of New Mexico. I have no idea what will stick with him. After finishing off that full schedule, we decamped for Denver, where one of my cousins was getting married. There, he hit a couple of museums, did all the requisite wedding stuff (parties, reception, etc.), caroused around downtown on the free bus, spent lots of time with Grandma and Grandpa and my cousins Kristin and Alicia (Max has seen them a number of times, and he's extremely fond of them) and scored big at the breakfast buffet every morning. Again, I don't know what he'll remember from Denver, but his show-and-tell presentation at preschool used a lot of maps--bus maps, downtown maps, you name it--and not so much description. "I went here, and here, and here..." And he knew exactly where everything was on the maps, too. Any parent will tell you that it's easier to travel with one kid rather than two. And it's easier to travel alone with one kid than with two adults. It's easiest to hand off that kid to other adults so you can soak your head from time to time. I got to do that, and I got to enjoy watching the different relationships Max has struck up with the other adults in my family. He treats each of my brothers differently. At least, he has different expectations of them. Matt teases more dryly than Aaron, and Aaron is more likely to closely question Max's motives at any given time. Max also treats my parents differently than he treats my wife Barbara's parents. He loves them all, but he has different expectations and comfort levels with each of them. That sort of differentiation is an important part of growing up. All people are different, and adjusting to those differences is an ever-increasing task. Max seems to have a good handle on that. As for me, I had a good time. I slept a little less than usual--the two-hour time difference didn't bother us much, but Max did get up about an hour earlier than usual each day. I ate a little better than usual and I drank the normal amount of beer. It was great to see everyone--not to mention hike up a mountain or hang out at the Wynkoop Brewpub--and it was interesting to see all that through Max's eyes. Children do change your perspective on things. Or maybe it's just that they increase the perspectives in your arsenal. Three bucks for a trolley ride seems outrageous, unless you're a kid who has never ridden on one. The pre-dinner music at a wedding reception just might be worth an energetic dance. Sometimes there is nothing better than nacho cheese Cheez-Its and a squirt of water after hiking a couple miles uphill. I think I might have figured out that last one myself. Us dads don't need everything spelled out for us. Even if we can't sing "Delta Dawn" to save our lives.
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