Not much happened here inside the Beltway in the last week. The Prez and members of Congress presented bizarro plans to "fix" high gas prices, but that's about it. And while I wonder much money Exxon paid the Democratic leadership to pose in front of one of their stations (or was it how little money they gave? I just don't know) while giving their silly presentation, or why it is that Republicans who consider $100 inadequate tip money down at the K Street Thee Dollhouse somehow figure it's a worthy amount to bestow upon the American people (as a "prebate," which means we simply get less back next year, of course), the fact remains that I left town on Thursday, got back late Sunday night and still nothing real had happened.

The simple truth, of course, is that most of the time our government is very good at doing very little. And when I say our government, I'm talking about elected officials. Bureaucrats can be stiflingly bureaucratic at times, but they do work. Bureaucrats work hard. Congressmen and Senators, on the other hand, spend a lot of time posturing and very little time actually figuring out ways to do things.

There are a handful of folks who actually do work on the hill. Ted Kennedy, for all the grief he takes as a dinosaur liberal, works more with Republicans than any other Democrat. You can argue that the results aren't as satisfying as they should be, but hell, he managed to convince Republicans to pass a bill that requires portability of health insurance. Short of changing our system to single-payer, that's the most important health-care reform in 40 years.

There are Republicans who also reach across the aisle. Most of them represent midwestern states, and most of them still believe that government ought to actually work for the people. I used to believe that the vast majority of our elected officials subscribed to that notion. Now, I'm not so sure.

But still, nothing happened last week. There was lots of hot air, the Prez's approval ratings didn't get any better, folks are still being killed by the score in Iraq and... nothing happened on Capitol Hill.

Oh, but any day now the decision in Anna Nicole Smith's Supreme Court case is due. That should be lotsa fun.

I'm beginning to understand how idealistic young men (like, say, Newt Gingrich in 1980) could come to Washington and slowly get sucked into the cynical namecalling game that seems to serve as political discourse these days. Man, when Newt left town, he was one bitter bastard. And now, after he's spent a few years making real money? He thinks it's still possible for Congress to do good things. Is he sniffing too much from his consulting fees, or is he just a naive Georgia boy at heart?

Damn, this column is getting meaner and meaner by the word.

I don't want to descend into irretrievably acidic vitriol, so I'll leave you with this thought: Call your local member of Congress or Senators. Preferably both. And ask them what they plan to do about high gas prices. If all you hear are canned talking points and retarded ideas, promise me you'll vote against them at the next election.

I'm doing it. So do we have a deal?

Jon Worley doesn't know who his Congressional representative is, but he plans to find out soon.