I haven't been sleeping well lately.

It's been really hot around here, which means that it doesn't cool down much at night. So the house doesn't cool down much. The fans do a little, but not much, to fix this. I may not be thinking right. I might be a little loopy. I only offer this as a bit of an explanation for my latest crackpot idea.

It's been almost four years since the towers were blown up in New York. Since the Pentagon became a landing strip. Never forget! Hey, look at me, I haven't forgotten. Give me a fucking medal, I'm a hero.

We've spent hundreds of billions of dollars to make sure none of this happens again. Much of it on wars on the other side of the war, but also to shore up perceived deficiencies in the security of our country.

And it hasn't happened here again--but it has elsewhere. Madrid and London are the most vivid, but they aren't the only terrorist attacks around the globe. I'm not going to make a list. I'm going to make a proposal.

Let's stop spending money to stop these attacks.

I know, I must be a stupid, pansy-ass liberal to think this is a good idea. But you've got to understand, it's been hot this summer. My blood is boiling.

Here's the thing: we haven't really done anything to fix anything in almost four years. We've spent tons of money, but done little to actually make anything safer. We've just made us all terribly uncomfortable and scared. It's not the terrorists--they haven't made us this way--nope, we've done it to ourselves. We're doing exactly what they want.

We're spending ourselves into massive amounts of debt (this is, by the way, a stated goal of the boogeyman--Osama bin Laden). We're making this great country a police state. We're taking our shoes off at the airport--even before the security people ask us these days. We've been trained, like mice looking for the good cheese, to strip search ourselves--because you never know who might be a terrorist. We don't even trust ourselves anymore.

I had a dream last night. I was being investigated for alleged terrorist activities. I knew I hadn't done anything--but they were starting to convince me I was wrong. I was about to confess, but I really had to take a piss. So I woke up.

After the London bombings, warnings were issued here in America. Orange alert for all mass transit--which means, I guess, they don't think there will be any car bombings. Just bus bombings. Or subway bombings. Or maybe the train. Which is interesting. By the way, if a simultaneous attack was to happen here, all these warnings and colors and freak outs would have been a little too late--but the government did something, right?

A while back in California, some suicidal freak parked his car on the train tracks and then decided he wanted to live. Instead, a bunch of other people died. There was no bomb in the car, and he wasn't a terrorist--he was just depressed and terribly stupid. No orange alert for that sort of thing.

No one got on TV and yelled, "Stupid people alert! Be aware! Stupid people are everywhere! They could strike at any time!"

In Albuquerque after the London bombings, we were told to be vigilant. If we were going to ride the bus (I'm sorry, I have to laugh a bit--hardly anyone rides the bus here), we were supposed to be looking for terrorists. What about the asshole tailgating me? How about that prick? Should I be vigilant about him?

Do I think there will be another attack in America? Yeah. Probably. We should expect it, right? I mean, otherwise, what is all of this about? Isn't that why we're spending all this money, creating new levels of government bureaucracy and talking about colors as if it means something?

If we can't predict anything because our intelligence is an oxymoron, if we have no idea how or where anything is going to happen or, especially, when it will occur, why do we even try?

Is it to make us feel better? Feel like we're doing something? Feel like we're something more than ineffectual blowhards? And if that's the case, why are we even more fucking scared of everything and everyone than before? Obviously all the security in the world won't make anyone safer--or even feel safer. It only makes us more frightened and scared.

And when we turn around, get paranoid and start running, we won't even realize we're running from our own shadow.

Matt Worley thought it had started raining, but then he realized it was just sweat pouring down his face.