What do you want me to tell you?

Should I say you're wrong--just so you can yell back louder how wrong I am?

Should I tell you you're right--so you can smile all smug for the cameras when they tell you my quote?

Should I give you a suggestion you won't even consider, but something you can say you consider to make it look like you're considerate of others feelings?

Should I quote the Founding Fathers or the Bible or Kafka or Martin Luther King, Jr. in an attempt to humble you? To, perhaps, make you see what other "thinkers" in the past have "thought" about what you're doing?

Do you think about what you're doing?

Should I tell the story of a day in kindergarten when I got a burn on my knees from sliding on the gym floor? A story of lost innocence when I realized there were some painful things in life no one could save me from. A parable for these security conscious times. A reason for people to ski in helmets. Kids to play soccer with elbow, knee, shin and head pads to protect them from the very thing they are playing.

Would you like to know that when I was a kid, it was accepted that all kids would break a bone or two before they turned 15? Because, y'know, we were kids, and kids sometimes test the limits of their body and their world. Would you like your kids to grow up in a world like that? The good old days, as it were?

When you say, "This Bud's for you!" are you really talking to me? Can I choose a different beer?

Would you like to hear about the time when a very drunk guy drove the wrong way up the highway on Christmas Eve, oh so long ago, and obliterated an entire family?

Would you like us all to stay inside every night and never take to the streets for a bit of recreation? But this Bud's for me, right?

Would you like to tell me how to live my private life, but talk about freedom for the rest of the world? Would you like to berate me because I'm not married, have no kids and don't fit any of your stereotypes? Or maybe I do fit all of the stereotypes, including that selfish liberal one? Is that a better reason to curtail my civil liberties?

Would you like to hear the story of the leader of the free world who opens one hand in a gesture of good faith while he holds his fist tightly behind his back, just waiting for everyone to lower their guard?

How many lawyers does it take to make torture moral?

Would you like to tell me about how recreational drug use is killing everyone in the world while you pop your prescription pills like Pez?

Should I take the blue pill or the red pill?

And where, exactly, is Wonderland?

Would it be better if I grew my hair long again so you'd feel justified to yell, "Fag!" as you pass me on the street?

Would you like to teach me about the perils of gun control by threatening me with violence for my non-gun toting ways?

Should I trust Wall Street to take care of me in my old age?

Should I support the President because our nation is at war--even though I was never in support of the war we're in?

Is it better to lie to people to get what you want, or to tell them the truth and give them the choice of what to do with their lives--even if it turns out to be exactly what you didn't want?

Matt Worley sometimes asks questions. Sometimes he has answers, too.