Setting: Two Iraqi men, ALI and ABDULLAH, sit in a Baghdad sports bar watching Iraqi football. The broadcast is interrupted by an announcement by Condoleeza Rice.

ALI: What is this? What happened to the game?
ABDULLAH: New propaganda from the American occupiers.
ALI: Abdullah, who is that?
ABDULLAH: That is the Rice.
ALI: The Rice? I don't know her.
ABDULLAH: She works for the Bush.
ALI: Don't they all.

The Iraqi men laugh and order another round of tea.

ABDULLAH: I hate the Bush.
ALI: Me too. But seriously, why doesn't she cover her hair? Has she no shame?
ABDULLAH: They like to insult us by sending a tiny shameless woman to tell us what to do.

They listen for a moment to the translation. They laugh and pound on the table.

ALI: Can't we all just get along? What is this? Los Angeles, The City of Infidels?
ABDULLAH: Oh yeah, I'm going to go hug a Sunni. Those guys are crazy. I ran into a Sunni last week, he said he was on his way to Terrorist Training School in Syria. Like you have to get trained to blow yourself up!
ALI: Yeah, what is that about? Sunnis are so crazy. I dated a Sunni girl for a little while. She kept asking when I was going to get up off my ass and blow myself up for Allah. I said "Hey, you love Allah so much, why don't you do some blowing yourself!"

Laughter.

ABDULLAH: No, you didn't!
ALI: I did! I did! And you know what, Abdullah?
ABDULLAH: What?
ALI: It still didn't work.

More laughter.

ALI: Last I heard, she was hanging out with al-Zarqawi.
ABDULLAH: Speaking of a guy who needs to be blown away.
ALI: I heard he's on the American payroll.
ABDULLAH: No!
ALI: Yes! Did I tell you I met him once a few years ago. Tried to sell me a used camel.
ABDULLAH: Stop it, Ali. You're so bad!
ALI: I'm serious. The camel had half a hump. He said, get this, he said "It's the new thing. It's a hybrid."

Laughter. They calm down and look back at the TV.

ABDULLAH: I hate the Bush.
ALI: Me too. He keeps telling us to vote.
ABDULLAH: Well, did you vote?
ALI: The first time. I went to the polling place, and they told me who won before I even got in the building.
ABDULLAH: No!
ALI: Yes! I'd never even heard of the guy, and they had the percentages and everything. They are really good at rigging elections, the Americans. They painted my finger purple and sent me on my way.
ABDULLAH: I voted for Osama bin Laden one time.
ALI: Really? What happened?
ABDULLAH: They washed off my finger.

They look back at the TV and sigh.

ALI: Why does the Bush send the Rice to spread the propaganda? Doesn't he know she offends us? She doesn't even speak our language. She shows off her hair, and I bet she's a Christian to boot. What does her husband think of this?
ABDULLAH: She's not married.
ALI: (gasps) And they let her speak!
ABDULLAH: Only to us. Hey, she's available, Ali. Want to give her a try. A little dip in the Rice fields, eh?
ALI: Oh sure, sure. Then, I'd really burn in hell. What about you, Abdullah? I heard you like your women uncovered and mouthy.
ABDULLAH: Just to check the goods! I don't even touch them for the first month. I dated this one girl. She was great, never spoke, always obedient, rubbing me the way Allah likes. Turns out she was a guy!
ALI: No!
ABDULLAH: Yeah, a Sunni guy!
ALI: No!
ABDULLAH: Blew himself up after I kicked him to the curb.
ALI: You know, you can always tell when it's a guy.
ABDULLAH: How?
ALI: Check the eyebrows.

Laughter. They look at the TV.

ABDULLAH: The Rice speaks too much. We're never going to get back to the game.
ALI: The infidels are always interrupting our sports. Hey, what's the difference between an occupier and a liberator?
ABDULLAH: What?

Long pause.

ALI: I thought maybe you'd know.

Laughter. An explosion occurs nearby. The men flinch and grab their tea cups. They stop laughing and sigh.

ABDULLAH: I hate the Bush.
ALI: Me too. Hey, the game's back on.
ABDULLAH: It's about time.

Chris Jungle & Matt Worley go to sports bars to talk about politics.