Judge Jungle, can you tell us what you think about Constitutional Law?

Absolutely, Constitutional Law includes all the laws of the United States that directly correlate to the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

Yes, but Judge Jungle, how do you feel about its use as it relates to States Rights?

That's a two part question and I'll answer the second part first. I believe the Constitution does relate to States's Rights. It relates quite a bit. To answer the first part of the question, I feel fine.

Please, Judge Jungle, we are trying to get a sense on how you would rule on certain cases that might become before The Supreme Court.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I am not a ruler. I am not a protractor. I am not even a measuring tape. I am a man, simply that. Concerning cases that come before the Supreme Court, that's none of your business. To put a better way, I don't know. Yeah, that's it. I don't know. How can I know about the future? How am I suppose to make decisions on cases that haven't happened. I am not a fortune teller! If I make decisions now, then what's the point of listening to cases later? You tell me, what's the point? Jeez.

Thank you, Judge Jungle. Sorry to press you on that. You make a compelling point. Now, about Roe v. Wade, we know you can't tell us how you would vote in the future, but how do you feel about Roe v. Wade?

Roe v. Wade has a precedent. I cannot stress this enough. It was put into law in the 1970s and it's now 2005. Have you met family? My father Sam and mother Mary Jane. They couldn't be more proud of their son, and that he has the opportunity to become the most powerful and important judge in the United States of America.

That brings up a good question. Why do you think you deserve to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court when you have not even served on the high court at all?

That's an easy one. The President said I could.

How do you feel about the President?

I think it's very clear. The President is the head of the Executive Branch of Government.

No, sorry Judge Jungle, I didn't mean to confuse you. How do you feel about President Bush?

I think he's looking well for his age, and the humanitarian work he's done with President Clinton for the Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina is very uplifting.

Oh sorry again, Judge Jungle. I just can't seem to ask the question in a clear manner can I?

It's all right. After all, you are a Senator.

(laughter throughout the hall)

Yes, yes, good one, Judge Jungle. What was I talking about?

You were talking about giving me the job as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. I think it's going well, don't you?

Yes, very well. My goodness, you're a pleasant fellow, Judge Jungle. Have we met before?

Yes, remember that we've already made the deal behind closed doors? You said I had your vote because the Supreme Court needs more nice white guys. Souter has been such a disappointment with his leftist ways, hasn't he?

That' right. I think confirmation hearing is going rather well. We're upholding the law of the land by doing this on C-SPAN. Is there anything else we should ask you before we confirm you to the highest position in the courts?

Don't you want to know my robe size?

Wow, you really think of everything, don't you, Judge Jungle?

As far as you know.

Chris Jungle is not an accredited judge.