This morning I woke up with healthy boisterous fart. While socially unacceptable, farts are a rather healthy albeit stinky way to move food through the body. I thought to myself after the pleasant moment, "My God, these days, that fart must be at least a quarter's worth of energy." Yes, it's gotten that crass. With gas prices skyrocketing for every reason under the sun, I'm beginning to think my farts are worth saving.

When I started driving a cab three years ago, paying $1.499 a gallon was being gouged. Now, the price has doubled, and I make ten to fifteen dollars less a shift, thanks solely to gas prices. The President, whose family incidentally made their wealth in the oil world, has said very little about the predicament and done absolutely nothing about the gouging. So let me see, The President used to be in charge of oil companies, and now those companies are gouging the American people. The Vice President used to be in charge of Halliburton, and now the government pays their inflated prices for managing a war. The gas is not any better in quality, and the war is going badly. At least, our leader's old buddies are making a profit. But that is all a coincidence, right?

I apologize to the American people for bringing up the gas issue. As we all know, the mere mention of gas by any citizen makes the price go up a penny. Of course, everything causes the price of gas to go up. They were quick to point out that Hurricane Katrina would cause the price of gas to rise. Never mind that the gas in the pump was already paid for. Never mind that we have millions of oil barrels in reserve. Never mind that the rich are getting richer. Never mind about the poor who are getting poorer.

I maintain that these years are the Last Stand of the Rich White Man, and they are out to get every last dollar they can out of you. The horror in New Orleans is just another sign of how the poor & destitute will be left to rot. The White Man knows their time is limited, and all they have left are big cars, sucking up oil, and war. Old ideas that make money for very few, and ruin the lives of the poor. The powers that be are sucking up the profits and telling the rest of us to EAT OIL.

Now is the time to react, America! Now is the time to change our ways. Republicans, get off the bandwagon! You may think you're rich, but they are taking your money away as well. Democrats, grow a spine! You may think you're talking tough, but you run from your own shadow. The powers that be are forcing this revolution, so let's get on with it.

When I say Revolt, I'm not talking about loading up the rifle and picking off your enemies. Trust me, rich white men want you to do this. It's time to change the way we live. It is time for new ideas, new conceptions, new resources. OIL IS VERY TWENTIETH CENTURY! Let the ghosts of old dinosaurs fade away. We can make new cars. We can clean up the air. We can take a step closer to true Utopia.

People graduate with science degrees every year. Where is the new Thomas Edison? Philosophy graduates swarm all over our great land. Where is the new Socrates? Seminaries, synagogues, mosques preach good will and praise to the God of our choice. Where are the new Ghandis and Martin Luther Kings? The longer we have to wait, the higher the gas prices will go, and the fatter the cat gets.

You think it's just a few more bucks at the pump? You think we're fighting the safest war possible? You think these floods, earthquakes and tsunamis are just coincidences? You think the government going to come running to save you when the levee breaks? Think again, because the rich will be the first ones out the door with suitcases full of your money.

Time to ignore these baby-booming bastards, and go our own way. They have no new ideas, and these old greedy corporate hippies need to be put in their place before they ruin our country all together. It's the twenty-first century, we're still pretending it's the 1950s with better TVs. They've got the guns, but we've got the numbers. Let's make them adjust to us for a change.

Or we cab sit back and watch the price of gas go up to five dollars, and take comfort that someone is getting rich out of the same old way we live.

Chris Jungle has had enough of the current world.