I was seventeen years old when my first friend came out and told me he was a homosexual. I was shocked. I had a hard enough time getting girls to like me, and now, one of my buddies was playing for the wrong team. In the small town where I grew up, being gay was the wrong way to be. As a friend, I had two choices: shun and deny or accept and tolerate. What choice would you make at seventeen?

I'll get back to that, but since that initial coming out, I've dealt with a gaggle of gays. Some came out to me, some were already out and about, and some were obvious closet cases. In the theatre world, at least one out of three folks are gay. Not a week goes by in the cab without me picking up a lesbian or queer boy. Lots of hard guys in the rock n' roll scene, and they don't call it a sausage factory for nothing. While I don't brag about having the best gaydar in the world, it's not too hard for me to spot the homosexuals these days.

It's June once again, and that means Gay Pride Month in Albuquerque. All the queers, fags, dikes, sissies, butch bitches, carpet munchers, cum catchers and fun boys can show off their true colors. They perform in their parades, forums, plays, parties, get togethers and political rallies throughout the month, and to quote the famous Seinfeld line "not that there's anything wrong with it."

I've had more guys come on to me than girls, mainly because gay guys are much more forward than straight girls. Are you listening, straight girls? Give us a sign, drop us a clue, throw us a bone. Pretty please? My homosexual endeavors have been the tamest of tame. I've given a handful of boys a peck on the cheek and even a couple smooches on the lips. No tongue, no groping. Just some appreciative affection because they helped me out in some way. I still have a love/hate relationship with women, and I refuse to "experiment" with the boys until I can figure out the female species. I have a feeling it will take me most if not all my life to accomplish that.

Some people can't talk about homosexuality without getting political. The right wing stresses no gay marriage, many businesses will not allow same sex partners as part of their insurance packages, and of course, gay bashing by threatened insecure hordes occurs on a regular basis. I don't know what everyone is getting worked up about. I don't think the institution of marriage is that sacred these days anyway. Divorce is almost a mandatory step in the process. I don't know why gays feel they need a piece of paper from the government to prove their bond. I don't know why a bevy of Christians get offended and threatened by the very thought of men loving men and women loving women. The key word here is LOVE. If two people love each other, it's pretty special no matter what race, creed, culture or sexual orientation. Casual sex finds a way to get the best of you regardless of who you fancy.

Some people claim that homosexuals are "turned" gay or that it's learned behavior. Like it's peer pressure, like it's learning how to drink or take drugs. That is a bunch of Grade-A propaganda crap. The truth is that there is a wide range of sexual orientations, as wide and diverse as the different human body types on Earth. Some kids have obvious homosexual tendencies at a very early age, and some kids develop into natural breeders. Outside all of the obvious cases, there are a lot of folks stuck in the middle. The old adage is that we're all a little gay, but the ones with several ambiguities have it the worst. Everyone has an opinion on which way people should go, and the truth is a lot of people just don't know. Human sexuality has a lot to do with instinct and natural selection, and it differs from person to person. Anyone who thinks they know the absolute answer one way or another is blinded by self righteous and misguided morals.

It's easy to say all of this now, but what did I do at age seventeen when my friend came out? It dawned on me that the guy wasn't my friend because of his sexual orientation. We rarely talked about sex with each other, so why should it matter to me if he's gay? He was going to have to deal with being ostracized by other kids, the community and his faith in the Catholic Church. The guy was my friend before and after coming out.

So I say go for it, homos! Come on out! It's your month to show some pride. I won't go out of my way to support your homosexual causes, but I certainly won't jump on any gay bashing bandwagons either. No matter what, a gay person deserves every courtesy we allow everyone else. Period.

It should be that simple, but of course, we're talking about sex. And since the beginning of time, sex has never been that simple.

Chris Jungle keeps clothes and old Star Wars collectibles in his closet.