The temperatures jumped into record-breaking mid-90s in my town this last week, and driving the cab left me a little dizzy. There are many points to make but no rationality to back them up. Welcome to the confusing moments of a hot late May:

Kids are graduating high school and college. I used to have sage advice for the youth, but that's when I was younger. The older you get, the less the kids listen to you, and that's just fine with me. Congratulations, grads. You are free from the institution you've been a slave to for the last few years, and they gave you a piece of paper and everything. Put it on the wall and wonder if it was worth all the trouble. I don't get what our education system achieves with students these days.

My landlord turned the water on for my swamp cooler before the heat hit, but I have yet to turn on the fan. The theatre where my play just closed this weekend did not have their AC working, and they turned it on anyway just to blow hot air on the audience. I don't get it.

It's been over two years since the 'Mission Accomplished' moment on the air craft carrier, and yet soldiers and civilians continue to die at an alarming rate in Iraq. Success is not guaranteed, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. I just don't get exactly what we accomplished or what the mission is.

I love Star Wars. It is the first movie I recall watching. I was four years old and sat in the back seat of the family station wagon at the drive in. Every movie in the series since it started has been a let down, the new trilogy in particular. Episode III came out this week, but I was too busy to catch it during the first weekend. It didn't stop the masses from attending the movie in droves. No one I know has been satisfied with Episode I & II, and yet they still feel the need to watch the last installment as soon as possible. I'll get around to the flick in the near future, but I don't get the Star Wars obsession any more.

The sun hits the left side of body much harder than the right when I'm in the cab. I lather up the sun screen around 10 a.m. and start cranking the AC around 1 p.m., but I still get brownish red at times. It wouldn't surprise me if I got skin cancer earlier than most folks, but it doesn't bother me too much. I just don't get my nonchalant attitude toward basic health issues.

The old lady who lives next door stopped me as I walked to my mailbox. She complained that the broken down section of my backyard fence was still in disrepair. I explained that I don't own the house, and I'm merely a renter. She insists that the weeds that grow in her barren back yard are due to the seeds from the weeds in my backyard. She asked if I would fix it. I said I had a hammer but no nails, and she gave me a mix matched box of twenty nails. I will nail up the broken down section once again, and it will fall again when the wind blows. She will complain again, and nothing will be solved. I don't get my neighbor.

Maybe I'm just a tease. Maybe you are. Maybe I want you. Maybe you do. Maybe I'll make you beg for it. Maybe I won't try. Maybe I'll leave. Maybe I'll let you go. Maybe I'll let you have me. Maybe you will. Maybe I'll make you work a long time for it. Maybe I have nowhere else to go. Maybe I like you. Maybe I like you too. Maybe I don't get women these days. Maybe it doesn't matter if I get them. Maybe it does.

They say it will cool down into the 80s next week, and we'll stop these record highs in temperature. I'd like to think I'll be more cohesive. I'd like it to make more sense. I'd like to get it again.

Chris Jungle tries to get it while the getting's good.