When I check my e-mail, I skim through the e-headlines. Some national topics, world issues, health, sports and entertainment. Very rarely do I read even the first paragraph of these clickable headlines. One that kept popping up in web land recently was the finger in Wendy's food. Somebody found a finger in their Wendy's food. They wanted money and retribution from Wendy's for the horrific trauma of almost eating a digit. It turns out that it was all a lie.

We all tell lies, even yours truly. I have seen many artistic expressions that were just plain awful, but I watched them because I knew someone performing in them. 'What did you think?' is what they want to know. I throw a heap of sugar on the bitter truth, and everyone knows what I thought without feeling stabbed in the heart. Y'know, white lies. Of course, when I do an awful artistic expression, I like a little sugar with the truth as well.

A lot of people don't just add sugar to the truth. They flat out create bald-faced lies. People lie on their resumes to try and get the job. They start rumors about people they don't like. They recount adventures and tragedies that didn't really happen, looking for sympathy or a hand out.

There is the envy lie. After 9-11, several New Yorkers were suddenly police men and firemen. Everybody was on the scene. Everybody wanted to be the hero even though they weren't. During our two-year war in the Middle East, we tried to make heroes out of Jessica Lynch and Pat Tillman. It would have been so easy to get the public behind these tragic events, except for one problem: The Truth. The woman didn't do anything to deserve heroic status, and the man was killed by friendly fire.

When you make big item purchases, salesmen sneak on hidden costs to pump up their commission. I know cab drivers who take fares way out of the way to make an extra five to ten bucks. Kids cheat on exams in lieu of studying and have "tutors" write their papers. Once people learn whatever system they are in, many find ways to bend the rules or rig the game.

Couples lie to each other all the time. 'Where have you been,' 'What have you been up to,' 'Who were you with' are all reasonable questions to ask. I guarantee that the answers are not as reasonable. Once you get in the habit of bullshitting your significant other, it's really hard to break. In fact, the lies just keep getting bigger as do the indiscretions.

Our Presidents lie to us. Nixon was not a crook, Clinton did not have relations with that woman, and Bush will find the weapons of mass destruction. If you can't trust the people in charge, everyone in the country feels they have the right to exhibit the same behavior.

When I was in elementary school, I was quite adept at coming up with an untrue story. I would swear up and down about events that did not occur. Show n' Tell became my moments for Lie n' Fib. When it finally dawned me that lies didn't make my life better (and it took many years), I had to stop. I couldn't remember which stories I told to who, and eventually I couldn't remember what really happened at all. Liar, Liar, pants on fire. You're nose is as long as a telephone wire.

Kids cry wolf, but adults cry bloody murder. There's a finger in my Wendy's food, there's a mouse in my beer bottle, a black man came in and killed my wife, in my former life I was very very important. These days, I am rather self-reliant, so if you lie to me, it doesn't effect me one way or another. I take everyone's comments at face value and don't hang my hat on any story or statement. Unless something is signed and in writing, it is up to debate and reinterpretation. Even then, skepticism looms.

All I can say is if you stay genuine with what you say, you will actually be a better and more genuine person as a whole. No lie.

Chris Jungle is not this columnist's real name.