One of the main rationales given (these days, anyway) for the war in Iraq is that the United States is the world's preeminent democracy and that means we're responsible for making the rest of the world as democratic as possible.

I have to admit, that rationale sounds noble. It isn't, of course, but that's another subject for another day. What I'm kinda more interested in is what it will feel like to live in the U.S. when it isn't the world's preeminent democracy saddled with an evangelistic need to democratize the rest of the world by force. Personally, I could use the breather.

C'mon, wouldn't you like to turn on your television for more than five seconds without hearing how many people (Americans or otherwise) died in Iraq today? Me too. I would like to spend this summer contemplating the latest April collapse by my beloved Royals. But geopolitics keep getting in the way.

And hey, I'd like to enjoy the fruits of my labor if (and, I hope, when) the 6% cap on alcohol in beer is raised in my fair state. Oh, I'll buy me a case or two of fine Trappist fare, but I won't enjoy it as much as I should. Not when I sit back and the first thing I see in the newspaper is another story about abuses at Gitmo or in Jordan or whatever.

Don't tell me to take a "news break," whereby I would refuse to read the newspaper, watch TV news, listen to NPR or visit any sort of news or political web site. I've heard of such things, but that wouldn't work for me. I like politics. I like the exchange of ideas. I like examining my own thoughts and deconstructing views that I might or might not share. Abortion? Gun control? Free trade? Hey, I'm all for discussing those things (and, if you don't know me well, I'm pro-choice, pro-gun registration and very pro-free trade). I like thinking about practical solutions to seemingly intractable social problems. I'd like an honest discussion of our place in the world--and more importantly, a discussion of our position in the world.

In other words, do we really need to be #1?

I don't think so. Look at the French. They think they're #1, and they never have been--with the possible exception of red wine. Oh, and dirty art flicks. The French used to be really good at those. But the French want to believe they're superior in just about every other way as well. Did you know that the French spend a significant part of their national budget on promoting the French language around the world. Imagine spending the equivalent of the budget for Department of Education (I'm just guessing here; my three-year-old hid my calculator) on the worldwide promotion "English! It's what's spoken!" France is a beautiful country with some fine food and one killer bike race. But the French are, by and large, moody little shits. And this is because they feel the need to believe that they are, by some improbable calculation, citizens of the greatest nation on earth.

Contrast that with the Germans. They tried to be the greatest nation on earth a couple of times last century. Their military record is similar to Mike Tyson's boxing career: Impressive at the start, followed by defeat after embarrassing defeat. So the Germans gave up looking out for #1 (with a little help from the Marshall Plan) and didn't even have much of an army until recently. Sure, West Germany had us to help them "contain" the Iron Curtain, but now that the country is unified, Germans sing the third verse of "Das Lied der Deutschen," their national anthem, and not the first verse--the one that starts "Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles." The Germans know they're in decline, and they're cool with it. Oh, they're still a little stiff, but you would be, too, if you had to study the years 1933-1945 and say to yourself, "God damn, that was my country?" Let's face it: Nazi Germany makes McCarthyism and the Communist witch hunts look like a Marx Brothers routine.

We need to chill out. We need to pull back a bit and figure out why we're spending almost as much money on our military as all the other countries in the world combined (47% of all world military spending in 2003, according to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute). I'm not advocating withdrawing from the world. But a little retrenchment couldn't hurt.

Yes, we're #1. But do we really need to be stomping the rest of the world into the dust? I suppose it's nice to think of ourselves as the only world superpower, but if that status is what gets us into situations like Iraq, perhaps we ought to dial back the attitude. Maybe even to the point where another nation gives us a run for our money. And hey, if we do go into full-fledged decline--as every empire does, sooner or later--you won't find me crying in my beer. I'll be chilled out, serene in the knowledge that I can read my newspaper in peace, plotting the best way to bring single-payer health care to the United States.

You just can't beat the good things in life.

Jon Worley believes beer is too fine a drink to be sullied by tears.