At happy hour on Friday, a co-worker asked me if I knew what was going on with the annual bonus this year. I told her what I knew, which wasn't really new information, but something I'd heard a few weeks before.

"Don't max your credit cards out just yet," was my comment about the subject. "I'm not spending any money this Christmas," I went on to say. "No one's getting shit this year."

This, of course, isn't true. But the necessity to get a little something for everyone I know seems really unnecessary. On the one day I went out to shop for some of my immediate family members, I came away feeling dirty. Like I stuck my wallet in the wrong hole and needed a thorough cleaning afterwards.

I'm not sure if we need Christmas this year. Or at least what has become the American Traditional Christmas of spending way too much money to feel good for a couple of days at the end of the year.

My older brother and his wife are getting what could be called the "ultimate" Christmas gift this year: a new kid. I got an update call last night (although, for just a second, I thought the call was to announce the birth) that everything is fine, but it hasn't happened yet. I think anything any of us send them (other than a small dose of sanity--which I've had the hardest time finding) will pale in comparison.

Later today I've got a brunch. The instructions are to bring a "white elephant" gift--which, after some consultation, does not mean a gift for white Republicans (kind of redundant, huh?). Anyway, I'm taking an inherited copy of one of the worst movies I've ever seen. So bad, I don't even display it with the rest of the movies in my collection (and, after today, it won't grace my home again!). The idea, I think, is to laugh about the idea of giving something "good" for the holidays.

I don't have a lot of traditions for the holidays or Christmas in particular anymore. Since choosing eternal hellfire damnation all those years ago in exchange for a relatively guilt-free life, the religious aspect of the holidays is a bit lost on me. But I do know something about Jesus' birth, life and death.

I have to wonder, if there was a Wal-Mart 2000 years ago, would the wise men have given the boy mass-produced chocolate balls, mixed nuts and a cheap Bethlehem Bears t-shirt (toddler size). Probably not.

Why is it we seem to celebrate the birth and death of Jesus, but fail to focus on what he felt was important: telling stories about being nice to each other, forgiving others for their idiocy and turning water into wine? Or helping to ease the suffering of lepers and trying to keep loose girls from going astray (to be fair, I probably encourage the latter a bit too much)?

Maybe we do this on a small and individual scale, but I don't see any big holiday about any of these things.

So the plan is pretty simple for Christmas Eve this year. I will sleep in (I get the day off), take the big piece of meat I'm gonna cook on Christmas Day out of the fridge so it can defrost and maybe watch something about people trying to be nice to each other--or beat the crap out of each other to get a small ball into the "endzone." When it gets dark (so quickly these days), I'll walk through the neighborhood to check out the luminarias and house lights with my in-town family. There'll probably be some spirits involved, as well as a bit of something to nosh.

I, of course, have no children to placate. And what I hear most is it's the children who are the ones who "expect" Christmas to be a big deal. Maybe, instead of spending a hole in your pocket this Christmas to make them happy for about ten minutes (y'know, that hot new toy isn't so hot or new about a week after Christmas is over), tell them what Christmas is really about. Debunk everything they are inundated with each year, which seems to promote greed and excess. They probably "expect" something because this notion has been reinforced in one way or another by the people they are surrounded with.

But don't listen to me. Here's something Jesus said: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth."

And as the Pythons said in response: "Well it's good they get something, they have a hell of a time."

Matt Worley is doing his own "water into wine" trick this holiday season.