There is a chronic problem going on all over this country. It has nothing to do with morals, faith or political beliefs. It has to do with courtesy, and I'm not sure how to fix it. There's only one way to say it: people talk way too much.

Last Saturday, I listened to a kid trying to tell a story about where he worked. He was repetitious and vague on the point. The more he talked, the less any of it made sense. No interesting point, no funny innuendo, just rambling which got worse as he kept talking to me.

On Monday, I drove a fellow cabbie home after a shift. You'd be surprised how many cab drivers don't have their own cars. The guy is a hermit in his personal life, but he has a lot to say. I listened for about an hour of his diatribe before saying farewell. He had thoughts about the government, pop culture, philosophy and music. The only problem was that he barely let me get a word in edgewise. Any time I interrupted (how rude!) with a point of my own, he would shake it off and ramble on for another five minutes nonstop.

It was not until Wednesday when I drove another cab driver home and endured another long one sided conversation before he wanted to know what I was doing. He told me about his pet dogs and cats for twenty minutes before asking me a question.

There is a moment near the end of the movie American Beauty when the seventeen-year-old cheerleader asks the mid-life crisis father "How are you?" The father looks befuddled for a second and replies "It's been a long time since anyone asked me that question."

Everybody talks. Not everybody listens. It's the syndrome called Waiting For Your Turn To Talk Again, and it's very annoying. Why should I endure twenty minutes of personal ramblings when I get a two minute rebuttal before they start going again? It's the disparity that bothers me. Do you know what a disparity is? Okay then.

The simple truth is that 90 percent of people are not that interesting. They tell simple stories in the longest possible ways. They talk so long that they forget what their own point is. I try not to be rude, I try to be polite, but I get to the point where I wish I wasn't in the conversation. After listening to someone talk for ten minutes, I find myself not wanting to say anything at all for fear it will spark a new vein of another pointless ten minute babbling.

My own family is notoriously long winded. When my folks wanted to punish us, I mean really punish us, they would schedule a family meeting. These marathon talks would go on for hours until everyone had broken down at least twice. My dad is a historian, so he's a professional at stretching the spoken word. My mom has an amazing ability to make a two sentence concept into a half hour monologue. I thought this extended gabbing thing was just a family thing, but it's a chronic problem all over the place. Unlike the flu, you can't get a shot to fight against it.

It's not that I'm against conversation. I engage in them quite frequently, but it's only enjoyable when it's a dialogue. A little back and forth between a couple folks can really be quite enjoyable. I'm realizing that many people don't talk that way. Get off the soap box and listen for a few minutes! These self-glorified monologues need to stop!

I've tried many things to fix this problem. I've prompted people to get to the point. I've tried to steer people away from views I think are irrelevant or just idiotic. I've even walked away in the middle of the story. It doesn't change it from happening. Is this curable? Should we be making people go to conversation class?

It's taken me forty minutes to write this column, and I'll spend another ten minutes editing it. It takes less than five minutes to read, and probably about ten seconds to decide whether the point is relevant.

I'm making it easy on you. You will not have to endure an hour long diatribe on how people talk to much. It's just a 700-word column, and let's face it, even a picture is worth 300 more words than that.

So let's be succinct with our speaking, people. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that the more concise you are, the better chance that people will actually remember what you said at all.

Chris Jungle wraps it up.