There's a seedy-yet-honest joke that goes around when a pack of men see a young girl walk by wearing next to nothing. "Don't look too long boys, 15 gets you twenty." All the men chuckle in their country way, knowing the meaning by heart. Fooling around with a 15 year old will get you twenty years in jail. While that amount of jail time may be an exaggeration, the point is well taken.

Now, there is a similar phrase with a completely different meaning. Anyone going to the gas pump these days knows what I mean when I say 20 gets you ten. Twenty bucks, ten gallons of gas. Is that the super duper kick ass gas that actually cleans the air when you drive? Nope, that's regular unleaded. The good stuff costs extra.

I started driving a cab for a living a little over two years ago, and finding the cheapest gas prices have always been a quest for the day. Just two years ago, I shrugged my shoulders and paid $149.9 at the pump. I thought it was too much back then. Nowadays, with men and women soldiers in the gulf fighting for oil, the gas gods have added another two bits to a gallon. Do I pay it? Uh, yeah, it's my job as a cabbie and apparently as an American. We're all taking it right in the exhaust pipe.

Yes, yes, I know. Gas prices are just one aspect of life, but it's a very tangible microcosm of the macrocosm. Everything has gone up these days. Food cost more, services cost more, education costs more, sin costs more, everything cost more. But let's stick to gas.

If you ask the gas gods why the prices keep going up, they pull out the tarot cards. It's the price of crude, combined with the stock market, the hurricanes in Florida, the Yankees & Red Sox in the ALCS, the presidential election, and of course, the price of tea in China.

I've always known gas companies were screwy. Anything that adds .9 of a cent to trick you out of almost an extra penny without you thinking about it is corrupt.

There is only one way out of this gas mess, and it's called invention. Remember back in the old days when we had people inventing things. Where are Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin these days? Employed by the oil companies, no doubt. I know there are inventors out there, but I'm calling for all of them to come out of the woodwork. We need vehicles that run on something other than petroleum-based gasoline.

Car companies are pussyfooting around with hybrid cars, but I've never counted on Detroit to come up with anything innovative. They've got a whole new line of SUVs coming out, though.

It is time to evolve, America. It's time to take a step into the future. No, I'm not talking about HDTV and computer phones. I'm talking about coming up with a better way for everyone to live. The longer we hang on to the past, the more we are doomed to wallow and pay for it. Someday, a gallon of gas will cost more than a gallon of milk. The government will push for cleaner coal. Cleaner coal? That's just stupid.

Two dollars a gallon should be taken as a serious warning. In two years, the price has risen at least 33 percent around the country, and in some places much more. The only way to kick our oil habit is to replace it. Not with methadone oil. With something better, more environmentally sound, and efficient. Remember Back To The Future? Where's the souped up flux capacitor? Where are the wacky genius scientists? I know you're out there somewhere.

Chris Jungle was laughed out of the room when he unveiled his bed tub invention.