Last week, a man tried to walk across I-40 before the sun came up. He did not make it, and pieces of the man went everywhere. Traffic was shut down for more than four hours while the authorities tried to figure out if the body was male or female. Now, many people have told me they knew somebody that knew somebody that knew the guy who took those final, fatal steps. He was certifiable, he was drunk, he was my brother's best friend's niece's cousin. He fell flat on his face.

I'll pass along the sound advice my day dispatcher told the drivers on duty when he discovered the news: Drivers, don't try to walk across the interstate. Drivers, wear your seat belts. Drivers, be safe. Well said, Tony.

It happens every year during the final month of summer. Everything falls flat on its face.

There are two prevalent times of year when relationships crumbles: at the end of winter, and the end of summer. If you are productive enough, you can have two quality break ups a year. Spring is when people want to live with different partners, and Fall is when people want to die with different partners. Now is the time for the latter, just like the rest of nature.

This is the time of year when good baseball teams really punish the lousy ones. You either have something to play for, or you don't. If you do, your chances of winning are pretty good. If you don't, you fall flat on your face. What are you playing for these days?

The point has been made that voting for the lesser of two evils just encourages more evil. I've always believed that, but it seems to be the case in most selections we make. If you told most people that they had many evil qualities, they wouldn't believe you. Even though it's really true.

I auditioned to be in a local theatre production of Richard II. I thought I'd make a good Bolingbroke or Mowbray. The director instantly saw me as Sir Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk and cast me in the part. Two weeks later, I cruised down to the theatre for the first readthru of the script and discovered no one there. I called the director and left a message. It turns out that he didn't get the people he wanted for certain roles, canceled the show, and failed to let me know about it. The play fell flat on its face before it even started. Now, the theatre is putting up a production of Dr. Faustus with a different director, which I am cast in by default. It's the first time I've auditioned for one play only to be in another. Who takes over the controls after the Wizard of Oz leaves?

During a hot afternoon, with no rides on the board, and the Yellow cab drivers making very little money, the swing shift dispatcher put us in our place rather succinctly: Well, I guess we're all here because we're not all there. Well said, Butch.

I wish this didn't happen every year, but it seems that it must. Some part of our life has to fall flat on its face at the end of summer. Whether it be family, friends, relationships, jobs, politics, finances, sports teams, hobbies, weather, or the uncontrollable urge to walk across I-40 before the sun comes up. Blame it on the Zodiac. It's a harmless excuse.

So here we are with our faces flattened and less than a month of summer left, but we gotta pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again.

Chris Jungle dreamed that he had to fight off zombies last night.