In the beginning, there was Athens and Sparta. They used to fight each other all the time. Athens was generally considered the more sophisticated city while Sparta was the more military-minded area. Kind of like South and North Korea these days. Somewhere along the way, they came up with an idea that they should settle their squabbles and fights with an Olympics. Each city would show off its finest athletes and compete for sporting glory in lieu of killing each other. Competition instead of war. Those Greeks came up with some good ideas.

Flash forward to the present day, and we see The United States gunning it out with the rest of the world for Olympic glory in good old Athens. Like a good patriot, I root for the home boys and girls against the rest of the world. I sport the U.S.A. Olympics hat my Grandma gave me for my birthday. I'm all about the red, white and blue, and yet there's a cruel irony going on here.

While Michael Phelps blazes his way through the pool, U.S. tanks blaze their way through Iraq. While gymnasts squabble about unjust judges, our military squabbles with militant clerics. The athletes give their all in attempt for Olympic gold, and our soldiers give their all for...for, um...hang on...didn't someone mention an exit strategy... well, they said the phrase, but I don't think it got much further than that.

The original purpose of the Olympics was to prevent war, but now in the modern day world, the last standing superpower tries to have its cake and eat it too. We want the final medal count in our favor. We want to wage preemptive strike wars against any rat in the world. We want it all, we want it all, and we want it now.

The Olympics are for the world. Where else can Lithuania and Puerto Rico embarrass the United States, except in men's basketball? Where else can Cuba pummel the rest of the world except in heavyweight boxing? Where else can the unknown dedicated athletes introduce themselves to the globe? It really was a good idea that those Greeks had.

Wars are for the evil. Can you name the first of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? Trying to create democracies by killing thousands of citizens just doesn't seem to make any sense. War is a way to scar thousands of individuals on both sides of a conflict. Widows and orphans receive no medals for enduring the worst fates imaginable. American families have no way to properly justify losing loved ones with olive wreaths. Terrorists are almost always people who believe they have nothing to lose. How many future terrorists are being created in Iraq? How many future Olympians?

It just doesn't make any sense, as ironies often don't. On one hand, we are celebrating the spirited competition of the world, and on the other hand, we are killing and destroying poor and desperate people in a desert land. The ancient Greeks would be scratching their heads over this one. At least during the cold war, both the Americans and Russians had the good sense to boycott each other's games. I'm not saying it was the correct diplomatic thing to do, but at least it was consistent with the childish behavior of the cold war. If you can't play nice together, then don't play at all.

So on with the games, and on with the war. If it was up to me, the Olympics would drag on for years, and wars would last two weeks with dramatic opening and closing ceremonies. If there is any poetic justice here, the Iraqi men's soccer team is in the semi-finals with a solid potential to medal in these Olympics while the US team failed to even qualify.

If we had only focused more on playing with all the countries of the world, we might not be fighting at all right now.

Chris Jungle is neither an athlete nor a soldier.