It happens every year about this time, and yet, we are never quite ready for it. Daylight savings time kicks in, and we "lose" an hour. Time is such a finicky beast that we have to tweak it every now and again. It's a joy to fall back, and it sucks to spring forward. This column is the first official act of the new time structure, so please forgive the content of the following rant.

Finally I have the proper forum to apologize to all of the SUIT readers. I failed you, my fellow columnists have failed you, and I'm sorry. I know the White House will never apologize for anything. It's not their fault. Heck, it's nobody's fault in their eyes, except maybe Clinton's. That's okay though. I live in a white house too, and I just wanted to tell everyone I'm sorry.

No wait, that's not true. What I really want is a book deal. I want to tell my side of the story. I want to tell all at $24.95 a pop. I want to sit at Barnes & Noble behind a table with a white cloth asking strangers what their names are, gab for 10 seconds, scribble something on the inside cover, and do the same thing for the next stranger. It's all about making a connection. What's the book about? Oh, just some self indulgent schlock about what it's like to actually be me. Forgive me by buying a copy for yourself and one for your best friend.

Is it really an hour later or just a different interpretation of the same time? Feel my pain.

Jesus Christ, I mean, Jesus H. Christ. It's been two thousand years since his kin nailed him to a board and poked him with a big stick. It's Palm Sunday today, and the Christians have dubbed this week 'Passion Week.' We know the story, but nothing has changed. We still have to deal with as much war, pestilence, famine and death as ever. Lies and deceit. Masqueraders and posers. The Book of Revelations happens over and over. Every day is Judgment Day for someone. I'm really not too sure what the right message is any more. All I can tell you is which ones are out and out wrong. Sorry, Jesus. We have failed you. It must be the new daylight.

UConn or Georgia Tech? Huskies or Yellow Jackets? How did that happen? Who would have thought those two animals would ever meet, and who will be sorry when it's all over?

I get up at 4:20 a.m. to go to work in a Yellow Cab, and this Tuesday, it will feel more like 3:20 a.m. It cracks me up that sometimes my days begin so soon, and what's even funnier is that people sometimes need rides that early in the morning. I personally know that the days were starting to get light around 5:30 in the morning, so I guess there's some merit to this daylight savings stuff. Might as well save the light for those who get up later. We may not be farmers anymore, but some of us still have to get up early to make a living. What can I say? I feel really bad that it has to be this way.

Does it really have to be this way? We have all these necessities which mandate our selected slave labor. Do you own your dwelling (30 year loan plus insurance and taxes) or rent (pay on the first or out on the second)? Work for our credit to pay for our debts. Purchase goods and pay for services. People with high paying jobs just have higher credit limits. How many credits do we need? How much of our talent do we misuse or ignore? How much pleasure do we sacrifice in the name of stability? How much stuff do we need to attain satisfaction? What makes you so special? Is it really worth the price? Sorry to be this way, but you know.

It's eleven o'clock in the morning, and twenty-four hours ago, it was ten o'clock in the morning. We don't question the intent. We play along, and before too long, it will appear like nothing really happened. The sun will go down later in our perception, but nothing really changed. That's what I really wanted to bring up in the beginning. How many things are the same but we treat them as something special, and how many things are different but we treat them exactly like everything else?

Hey, who's running this sorry show anyway?

Chris Jungle is very puzzled these daylight days.