It's one of the first things we learn how to do, and you can call it what you want: lying, deceiving, distorting, exaggerating, misleading, and on and on. I remember when Mommy found me with crayons in my hands and color scribbles on the wall and asked 'Did you do this?' The answer was an emphatic 'No!' By the time we are five years old, all of us are pros at telling tall tales.

We lie for all sorts of reasons. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We don't want to get into trouble. We want to get ahead. We want to improve our stature. We want to avoid disgrace.

I would say that lying and cheating are getting out of hand, but it appears that it's all part of the status quo. President Clinton lied about his secret affair. President Bush lied about Weapons of Mass Destruction and an extra $150 billion in the Medicare overhaul bill. These are the leaders of our nation, and they set the standard. Deny, pass the buck, head hunt, distract. It's not their fault, it's somebody else's.

This deceit goes into the business world. Fudging the numbers, propping up bogus stocks, out right fraud. Enron executives steal billions, and a couple no names take the fall. You know these were the guys who had cheat sheets for tests in high school and college. Now, they're the richest felons in the world.

Baseball starts its lying early. Every year, the Little League World Series is full of older and older fourteen year olds. Apparently, no one can figure out exactly when their young players were born. Who can blame them for cheating when their heroes beef themselves up with the best steroids money can hide from drug tests? Everyone denies any wrong doing. It's a legitimate performance enhancer.

Jayson Blair made up news sources for his New York Times stories and wrote a book to explain himself. Jack Kelley made up international news sources and a book will no doubt follow. News stations run stories made up by public relations people. Propaganda is the professional way to lie in the press. Who's your source again? What exactly are we supposed to believe in these days? Why exactly are we supposed to then read books about their trails and tribulations? Will we find their explanations in the Fiction or Non-fiction section?

Boyfriends cheat on girlfriends. Girlfriends cheat on boyfriends. Husbands and wives, and dogs and cats. Everybody wants a stable relationship. Everybody wants a racy passionate affair. We want it all, and lying and cheating are the best ways to accomplish it. When it all comes crumbling down, we start over again and promise to do it right this time. Everything would have been okay if they wouldn't have found out.

Advertising is all about tricking the public. This cream will take away the wrinkles, this car will impress the women, this suit will make you important. The lies just keep on coming, and the products just keep flying off the shelves. We're suckers for a good lie. Heck, we'll pay good money for the quality fibs. Hey, if I take the bun off the burger, I'll be eating healthy, right?

White lies, dark lies, sex lies, complex lies. I've gotten to the point that I don't believe much of what anyone's personal information is anymore. I don't believe in anyone's campaign promises. He'll raise taxes, he'll spend all your money, he'll blow up the moon. Whatever, rich white Yale liars, just whatever. We all know you'll do whatever you want once you've gotten us to believe in you.

And the lies just keep on coming. Some come in the form of promises, some comes in the form of denials. Some fibs build people up, and others tear people down. Some are innocent, and some are scams. I don't know how to fix this except to say the next time you have the chance to tell the truth about something serious, go ahead and do it. Who knows? The person listening might even believe you.

Chris Jungle lies the most on his bed.