Boy, oh boy. Girl, oh girl. Here we go again. Who can be with who? What can they do together? What can they admit? What should they be denied? You'd think we were all a bunch of crazy confused ape-like mammals thumping our chests, posturing and scoffing, and screeching at the top of lungs in the middle of the jungle.

What seemed to be a blip on the radar screen is now the new big controversy: Same-Sex Marriages. Even my home state has gotten into the turmoil. Earlier in the week, the Bernalillo County Clerk's Office stated that the state laws did not have gender specific rules on marriage. The phrase used was Consenting Adults. That day, gay and lesbian couples began to trickle into Sandoval County and the town of Bernalillo to get that little piece of paper that stated their partnership was as legit as any married couple.

All told, 68 same-sex licenses were issued and almost fifty more couple were in line before the Chief Deputy Clerk read a letter from the New Mexico Attorney General. "It appears that the present policy of New Mexico is to limit marriage to a man and a woman." No more same sex licenses were issued.

So there you have it. It appears that way. That's the definitive statement. It appears so. The governor says he supports civil unions for gay couples and the protection they offer, but he thinks marriage should be reserved for a man and a woman. It seems like everyone wants to go out of their way not to offend gay people without actually giving the same rights as their straight counterparts.

Let's talk about the institution of marriage. There are basically two ways to look at these potential nuptials. There's the legal aspect. It's a pledge between two people share their lives, earnings and possessions. Is it mandatory to be married to do this? No, but millions of people do it anyway. Then there's the religious aspect. It's the spiritual union of two individuals in the eyes of God. Do you have to get some ordained minister to make a spiritual commitment with another? No, but people do it anyway.

Personally, I see marriage as an antiquated institution, but I also take it very seriously. When two people get married, I think they should commit their lives to each other for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do them part. This is not the case for about half the marriages in America. People do not take the commitment to heart, and divorce is now just part of the marriage process. TV networks use weddings and marriage as a form of cruel and unusual entertainment. You can get married in Las Vegas for fun, and then say "Oops, I'm sorry. I'm Britney Spears, and I just wanted some attention." I hate to say it, but I foresee the same thing happening with gay couples. The first legal marriage will be very loving relationships, but after a while, it will be pretty much like heterosexual marriages. Half of them will end before the death parting, and some cable channel will eventually cash in on The Queer Bachelor and Bachelorette shows. What can I say? Marriage is gay.

Being a theatre person, I inevitably work with the gay and lesbian folks. I've had them make out with each other in the back of my cab. Some of my good friends wanted me in more than a friendly manner. Some gay folks make me very uncomfortable. Some of the sissies and queens piss me off with their over-the-top behavior. Some people are stuck so in the middle of the sexual spectrum it's even hard to figure out which way they even want to go. I don't feel obligated to be nice to someone just because they are gay, but I don't instantly scorn them for being different than me. I treat them like everybody else until they give me reason to like or dislike them. I bet if you ask them, that's all they really want: To Be Treated Like Everybody Else.

Being a heterosexual agnostic male who has never been in a relationship remotely long enough to contemplate marriage, I think I am the closest thing to an impartial arbitrator on this issue. What's being argued here is really about civil rights. If you deny a certain substantial group of people a civil right in America, you're asking for trouble. In the 1950s, it was about race. Now, it's about sexuality. It used to be that them coloreds didn't deserve to be like whitey. Now, those fags don't deserve to be like Nick and Jessica. Come on, people! People, come on! Does it really matter if gay couples who already live their lives together get the same legal recognition as everybody else? They are as American as the straight community, so let those gay Americans tie the freaking knot if they want.

If you don't like it, then stay away from wedding.

Chris Jungle is not like everybody else but expects to be treated that way.