"Hey, Rover."

"What?"

"I'm getting a little worried about this "rosy scenario" character you've got me doing."

"If I ever hear you using pol speak again, I'll have you shot."

"But you send me up to the United Nations to give a speech that Iraq is in great shape and will become a new democratic dynamo in the Middle East within a year. And people in the audience laughed. Yeah, most applauded politely and all, but I heard some laughs."

"The French interpreter inserted a joke about a rabbi, a priest and a nun into the translation."

"Really? What was the punchline?"

"Listen, don't worry about it. You're the strong and resolute candidate. That's all you need to be. The more people make fun of you, the better you look."

"So I shouldn't worry when a New York Times editorial--and the editorials are much nicer than folks like Paul Krugman--says that I'm either lying, blind or stupid when I say the things I say about Iraq."

"The more the liberal media tars you, the better your poll numbers get."

"I lost seven to ten points last week in the polls."

"But you don't read newspapers. You're above the fray. You don't need to be worrying about these things."

"That's another thing. If I don't read newspapers, then I really am dumb."

"No. You watch Fox News. Newspapers are for the liberal elite. Fox News is news you can trust."

"That's good to know. But I do read newspapers. And even ol' reliable Bill Safire has taken to giving Kerry crib notes for his campaign rather than stab the guy."

"That column was intended to point out that Kerry campaign is a mess."

"But I don't think everyone took it that way."

"Smart people did."

"But if the liberal elite are the only ones who read newspapers, why in the world would they pay attention to someone like Safire anyway?"

"You don't read newspapers because you are above the partisan fray."

"Okay, fine. But I do read newspapers. And my lead in the polls got cut in half last week."

"Bye bye bubble."

"I thought this one was in the bag, Rover."

"It is. We've got one hell of an October Surprise coming."

"Really? What is it?"

"I'll let you know when I think of it."

"Oh. Okay. Want another O'Douls?"

"I don't care if Augie is a pal and he raised a kajillion dollars for you. That stuff is terrible. You ask me that question again, I'll have you shot."

"Right. Cheez Doodle?"

"Okay, you talked me into it."

Jon Worley thinks the Prez is blinded by the light.