Wolf Blitzer: Gentlemen, by lot the first question goes to Senator Kerry. Senator Kerry, one issue has dominated the campaign over the last few weeks. This issue is threatening to overshadow the entire campaign at the expense of everything else. And so, while it chagrins me to ask, I must. If you had a son, would you have had him circumcised?"

Sen. Kerry: Well, Wolf, as I've said throughout my campaign, this is an issue which has many facets. There is the long tradition of circumcision in the United States. That reason alone is good enough for many. Also, there are possible health benefits from circumcision, although it appears that those benefits have been mostly eliminated by modern health practices.

On the other hand, circumcision is a medical procedure. Until recently, most doctors didn't anaesthetize the boy before cutting, which made the procedure even more difficult and painful for the child. And then there are rare, but horrifying, cases of botched circumcisions. The specter of a permanently damaged penis probably makes many new parents unwilling to subject their sons to what they consider to be unnecessary surgery.

This question is a tough one for any family to face, and I consider myself lucky not to have had to face it in the past. My wife, of course, did, and I believe she made the right choice for her sons. But it's never an easy decision, and I think we need to leave it up to the parents and their doctors.

Blitzer: Thanks you Senator Kerry. Mr. President, if you had a son, would you have circumcised him?

The Prez: Wolf, this issue is simple. Snip snip, cut cut. That's all there is to it. Did you know that the one place in the world where people don't circumcise their children is Europe? And do you know why? Because Europeans don't believe in God. They grab any chance they can get to disown time-honored Christian traditions. I'm not going to stand here and let my opponent or anyone else contradict the words of Jesus.

Blitzer: Do you have a response, Senator Kerry?

Kerry: I do, Wolf. First, circumcision is a Jewish rite. Jewish boys are not circumcised in the hospital, but in a ceremony called a briss. A briss is something like a christening, but in any case, it is a Jewish ritual, not a Christian one. Islam also requires circumcision, though often until the boy is much older, making the circumcision a coming-of-age, rather than naming, ceremony.

The Prez: So what you're saying is that you're against a time-honored Jewish tradition? That you think all Muslims are backward?

Kerry: I said no such thing. All I said, and what I've always said, is that the decision to circumcise or not circumcise should be left in the hands of the parents and their doctors and not legislated.

Blizter: All right, all right, I know this is a contentious issue, but let's calm down. I do have one follow-up for Senator Kerry. Your daughters were born well before the advent of ultrasound technology, and you and your wife at the time would not have known the gender of your children. So you must have arrived at a decision before they were born.

Kerry: Had they been boys, I believe that we would have had them circumcised.

Blitzer: So you believe that boys should be circumcised.

Kerry: No, Wolf. Back when my daughters were born, the medical information on circumcision was not as complete and authoritative as it is now. So today, I would not have a male child circumcised, though I do believe that parents have the right to do so.

The Prez: Did you hear that? He flip-flopped! He flip-flopped!

Kerry: I did no such thing. Given the information I was given years ago, I would have authorized circumcision, but now that I have more authoritative information, I would not authorize circumcision today. The substantial increase of information on this subject in the last 30 years has dictated the change in my position.

Blitzer: Mr. President?

The Prez: No flip-flopping here. Snip snip, cut cut. A lot of my best friends are Jews, and I see no reason to disrespect them.

Blitzer: On to some other issues. Last week in Iraq...

Jon Worley will quit making fun of the presidential campaigns when they start talking about issues that matter.