The Christmas season snuck up on me this year. Actually, the whole holiday apparatus has been speeding by, and now we're almost done with the year. Thanksgiving showed up without warning. And even the three day work week before the holiday seemed to be, at once, the longest week of work this year, and an unexpected and unquestionable road sign that the year was finishing up.

I went to one store the day after Thanksgiving, basically because they were selling all regular music CDs for $9.99. But it was so hard to really shop, so many people were trying to find CDs or just browsing through the aisle, it was impossible to do this task for very long. In the end, it took longer to check out than it did to shop. I stayed away from stores for the rest of that weekend.

But since the post-Thanksgiving trip did not solve all of my gift problems, I've had to go out a few more times. Usually with little on my mind of what I have to get. I don't shop well without purpose. My mind wanders. I am somewhat overwhelmed by all the potential purchases, and everything becomes a swirl. And yet, I know if I work hard enough, all of this will be over soon.

This weekend, I embarked on my last shopping excursion. At one of the stores, I offered to take the cart of a woman who was done with her shopping. She was happily surprised to not have to make the return trip and wished me a happy holiday. I was asked to wait a few times (both in line to check out and also while a clerk filled an order for me), and each time I was thanked for my patience.

I was talking to a co-worker about the people I had to get gifts for, and she told me my family needed a system. In her family, they drew names and they gave one $25 gift and a $15 gift. That was it. But there were other criteria as well. If you are under 18, anyone can give you a gift, not just whoever draws your name. And parents only had to give gifts until you get married (she's still unmarried). Apparently the burden of good gifts goes to your significant other after that.

I'm not sure if the system would uncomplicate my gift system. I've come to realize that, most of the time, gifts are worth less than the gesture. Food is always good. It doesn't have to sit around on a shelf, reminding you that the gift probably wasn't the best fit. You just eat it, preferably during the holidays, and there you go. Your gift has been enjoyed, and there won't be any discussion a few years from now about whether or not you have to keep something because it was a gift from whoever. If you've still got the food a few years later, just throw it away. It's not good anymore.

And so I've been wandering, looking at all the things someone thought might be a good gift. Some look very Christmas-y, which seems really wrong to give. By the time they get it, Christmas is over. To really use something like that, they'd have to wait until next year. I dismissed most of this out of hand.

And some was just too much. Other than some Lego sets when I was a kid, it doesn't seem like my family spends as much as others. I'm not getting anyone a DVD player, an iPod or a cell phone. If they need that kind of thing, they need to get it for themselves. I'd probably end up buying a cell phone that only works within the confines of the store anyway. I know nothing about cell phones, and I'm pretty sure they come from the fifth ring of hell.

My last stop wasn't necessarily a Christmas stop, but it did represent my favorite type of gift. I was at the grocery store, and my cart was full of different kinds of alcohol.

If Christmas presents are about making people feel good, I think a little bit of liquid warmth is the best way to accomplish that.

May your efforts to placate your loved ones be successful this year.

Matt Worley isn't really a Scrooge, he just doesn't think a happy holiday should hinge on what's under that pretty wrapping paper.