As we get nearer and nearer to going to war, our susceptibility to terrorist attacks gets higher. We are on "high risk" right now. A step up from where we've been for the last year or so--which was "significant risk."

Did you feel like living in America for the last year was a "significant risk?" I didn't notice much difference in my every day life. I didn't start to look hard at strangers or people carrying large packages. I actually couldn't say that in the last year, I felt less secure than I'd felt over the last decade. But everyone kept telling me that risky things were around. My life, apparently, has been straddling the line between comfortable and risky. I just didn't realize.

But now we're at "high risk." So I should feel different, shouldn't I? I mean, if we go up one more little tick on the terrorist alert ladder, we'll be at "severe risk," which is pretty damn close to martial law. This probably won't happen until something actual happens, meaning that it's not even an alert. And, if something actually happens, doesn't that mean we're actually at much less risk since we made it through the actuality? What good is an alert if it doesn't happen until something actually happens?

But if that something actually happens, which we are, currently, at high risk for (probably because we're about to kill a lot of people in the Middle East, which will piss off a lot of the terrorists who don't like us anyway), we suddenly will be at the mercy of our own government. Directives for "severe risk" are the following: 1) mobilize specially trained emergency response teams; 2) redirect or restrict transportation systems; 3) close public and government facilities. In other words, stay in your house, lock the doors and hope they don't have blasters.

So, in order to protect our "freedom" the Prez keeps talking about protecting, we will have to give up very basic aspects of the same freedom. And, if we do go to war, the chances of our country being attacked will surge (we might even go up to that "severe risk"), meaning our country will become a lot like the country we're going to bomb because they don't have our freedoms. Those freedoms our government seems about ready to take away.

Confused yet?

How about this? Operating an SUV funds terrorism. Buying gas funds terrorism. Watching TV funds terrorism. Paying taxes funds terrorism. Using illegal drugs funds terrorism. Going to Canada or Mexico for cheaper prescription drugs funds terrorism. Drinking beer funds terrorism. Eating at nice restaurants funds terrorism. Buying a diamond ring funds terrorism. Living funds terrorism.

But we must be vigilant against terrorism. We must fight terrorism at all costs. Even if it means changing everything we do on a daily basis (like driving 20 miles one way to work with only myself in the car), we must be vigilant.

Being an American presents a strange Catch-22 at the moment. We're supposed to be normal and do all of our normal things, but being able to do these normal things is exactly why those terrorists don't like us. So when we're normal, we're pissing them off. But if we stop being normal, then they win because we're the ones who have changed, not them. They win the war. And we don't want them to win the war. So we must be normal and vigilant.

Right after the terrorist attacks in NY and Washington (the last actual attacks, not including the Anthrax mailings--which we still haven't figured out who sent), there were a lot of people who said we should look at how Israelis live their lives on constant alert and model ourselves after that. Everyone in Israel over the age of 18 is part of the military. They are constantly feeding the government information about the people they don't like. Their movements are tracked and restricted. They are not free, and they don't like or trust people who live a few blocks away from them.

I don't want to live like that. I don't want to think that people on the other side of San Mateo want to blow up my car when I go to work. I don't want to tell the government when I cross a state line. I don't want to show my ID to buy a cup of coffee.

I do want to be free. I want to live like I've lived for the last decade or so. Not thinking that the dreaded USSR is going to send a bunch of nuclear weapons across the seas at us. Not waiting for the next shoe to drop. Just living. Just doing. Just keep on keeping on.

The new "high risk" means nothing to me. I will not stock up on supplies. I will not call the cops because someone walks past my house. I will be an American. Just like I was when the risk was only "significant."

Matt Worley wants to get free, wants to get free, wants to get free, wants to ride into the sun.