12.14.03
Nabbing the ace of spades
a figurehead SUIT column by Chris Jungle

It seemed like another Sunday. Happy not to be hungover after holiday parties and rock n' roll, I peeked at the Sunday news shows to see what the big issue of the week was for the media. A bald major general filled the screen, pointing at a picture of a hole in the ground. Something had happened, good or bad. Definitely big enough to keep smarmy and chortling politicians from getting air time. Sure enough, the bald general trumped them all with the news that the Ace of Spades was in American custody.

Ever since the fall of Baghdad back in the Spring, there has not been a lot to cheer about in our dusty war in a far away land. No weapons of mass destruction were found (the main reason for invasion in the first place), skirmishes and rising death counts of military personnel (over 450 to date), and Saddam Hussein was no where to be found. The last truth has finally changed.

Not enough can be said about what a figurehead stands for: Jesus was the leader of a group called Christians, and we all know what happened when they made him a martyr. David Koresh led a resistance in Waco, and folks burned to crisp under his leadership. The Germans were so consumed with what Patton might do in Europe that Eisenhower snuck in through Normandy. Until now, the Iraqis always had it in the back of their heads that their leader just might return. He survived in power in 1992, and he was still at large somewhere.

As the bald general said, he was caught like a rat in a hole, and this is the perfect (and my favorite) analogy for enemy figureheads in general. It doesn't matter if the rat is going about living its life in its normal way, if it's in your home, you will live in fear of the rat rising up and clawing out your eyes. Until you catch the rat, every odd noises and scratch causes you to lose sleep. With the occupation quickly becoming a quagmire, it is good to know they finally caught their rodent.

Being a U.S. citizen who always opposed the war, the only thing I could do once the fighting started was hope for a swift and definite resolution. This did not occur, and I have always been waiting for something to justify this invasion. It has become obvious that the reasons we went to war were fabricated, exaggerated, and distorted.

It became increasingly clear that one of the necessary objectives of this occupation was to find Saddam Hussein. No matter how much "democracy" we touted, it didn't mean anything if we didn't nab the figurehead of the old regime. Now, that necessary task is done. Thank goodness.

I still have a staunch opposition to the will my country inflicted on Arab world, but being a realist, I also know when the proper steps are made to end the conflict. There is still much to be done, and there will no doubt be many more casualties along the way. Still, we are that much closer to ending a strange and questionable chapter in our history.

And there's the picture of a captured Saddam: bushy beard, bump on the head, disoriented, and capture alive. He's not such a scary rat after all. I wonder what I was scared of in the first place. No martyr, no holy war diatribe, no followers coming to his rescue. It makes you wonder if he had much to do with any of the conflict lately. Nevertheless, the figurehead is a prisoner of war, and the Ace of Spades had been taken out of the deck.

This doesn't signify the end of our "Mission Accomplished," but maybe it actually signifies the beginning of it. One can only hope.


Chris Jungle has never had his picture put on a playing card.


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