"It is my firm belief that the only laws an individual can truly respect and obey are those he instills in himself."
William Powell, The Anarchist Cookbook

"Whatever. I do what I want!"
Eric Cartman, South Park

It comes at us from all sides. Rules and regulations. Laws and legislation. The more we inflict and mandate laws on ourselves, the less I actually believe we have to follow them. It's practically gotten to the point where there are so many laws and rules that not a day goes by when I break the law.

Just getting into the car requires a bunch of rules. Is the seat belt on? Am I going the speed limit? Am I going to make that illegal U-Turn? Am I driving over the alcohol limit? Most of the time, I abide by the rules, but sometimes, I just don't, and I don't care either. I'm not alone.

Take my President. Please. (insert laugh track) Wow, what a great audience. In the State of the Union Address, the most scrutinized and official speech a president ever makes to America, he used inaccurate and inappropriate scare tactics to sway the American public to go to war on the other side of the world. Yellow cake uranium from Niger? Impending and immediate danger to the sovereignty of our great nation? Weapons of mass destruction? At best, he was blowing things way out of proportion. At worst, he was flat out lying. All to wage war. Against the law? Clinton lied about a blow job, and he was impeached. Bush lied about the military and terroristic capabilities of a nation, and we fight guerrilla war in the desert. It's the disparity that bothers me. Do you know what a disparity is? Okay, then.

Then, there's Kobe Bryant. He was caught dribbling out of bounds. (insert hoots) Talk about a costly turnover. (insert hollers) You guys are great. But seriously, a 19-year-old girl accused him of rape. Kobe Bryant: the Laker poster boy, the quench your thirst Sprite guy, the new Jordan. He claims he is only guilty of adultery and forced nothing. Of course if the girl hadn't gone public, he would have admitted nothing. Then he would have been guilty of nothing, right? Beautiful. Okay, if you rape someone, it's a crime. If you commit adultery, it's a sin. One you can go to jail for, and the other is grounds for a divorce. I don't get the law sometimes. Why was a 19-year-old girl hanging out with a married man anyway? Did she think he wanted to hold her hand in private? Seems to be a lot of miscommunication and lack of common sense in this situation. Strangely enough, there's no law against being stupid.

Now, I come to my mayor. (insert hiss) Hey, I didn't even get to the snake joke yet! I've been watching my town get torn apart since Marty Chavez got back in office, and I've always assumed the word Progress was part of the equation, but it's getting out of control. Not only did he change all of the north-south one way numbered streets to two-way, but now, east-west Lead and Coal are becoming two-way Downtown. Everyone I've asked about it thinks it's a stupid idea, including me. I've been driving Lead and Coal for a decade now, and they are two of the best-moving streets in town. The general rule for running a city is 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it.' Unless of course you are the Mayor of Albuquerque. There was no public vote on the matter. Nothing against the law. Nothing citizens could do about it. Now I've watched the corner of 2nd and Lead torn up twice in the last five months, and it still looks like crap. Progress?

I've always been told to obey the law. To not make waves. To go with the flow. I keep seeing this country's leaders and celebrities screwing up. They make bad decisions, they break the law, and they disregard the general welfare of the people. Yet, they keep making the money. They continue rule. They control the system with reckless abandon.

When I get a parking ticket, I pay twenty bucks. When the IRS outrageously says I owe them $500 for making $3500 in 2002, I write them a check. I don't coerce people to let me wage war and kill. I decline to have sex with girls who don't know any better. I don't tear up roads to keep construction contracts going. All these laws in place, and people still screw up in abundance. Where has it gotten us? Exactly where we are.

Just remember to pardon me when I'm a little lawless in the future.

Chris Jungle has no legal representation.