As we walked into the canyon, the city quickly disappeared. Tree cover and trail twists guarantee sanctuary from everyday life. Everything was special, even though it has always been there. It was waiting, though, as it does everyday, for a change. A rainstorm, winds, a posse of ground squirrels to move it past the everyday into at least the every other day. But as I hiked the trail, getting ever closer to a ridge where my side of the mountain and the other side of the mountain meet, I thought about the change in my city and nation over the last year.

It isn't uniform. It's not like everyone suddenly took a thirty degree turn to the left or right and we're all walking at a slightly different angle. There was confusion and solidarity and then...where do we go from here? And there were two choices: you can go your own way, or you can follow our way.

Our way, in terms of the nation, has been to become more enclosed. Remember when Pat Buchanan talked about building a huge wall around the United States and most of us thought he was crazy? It feels like that is where we've gone. Higher fences, less conversation, less human interaction. And because we all know a high fence will only keep the least vigilant of criminals out, the nation is building up for war. We are not reaching out to the world, we are striking out at the world. Spot bombing and destroying what we feel is wrong. Somehow we haven't realized that if we allow ourselves to feed on hatred, it will only breed more hatred outside these stupid walls we've built around ourselves.

I stay on the trail when I hike most of the time. A few weeks ago, I lost the trail in a short bout of disorientation and heat. I wandered off into the bush and tangle of the mountain. It took me a minute or so to realize I'd left the marked trail. I called out for my companion (who was about fifteen feet above me) and was steered back to the path once again. Uncertainty builds when you leave the familiar and venture into untamed lands.

I don't know what to expect anymore. I can make my little predictions and dollar bets, but in the overall scheme I have lost. The dark side has shadowed my future telling abilities. The dark side, by the way, is not Iraq or any of the axis of evil. The dark side is the blind race to blow up anyone who doesn't agree with us--as long as they pose little retaliatory threat to our massive military. Like a true school yard bully, we are fighting people who have no chance to really fight back. I never liked bullies, and now, by citizenship in the nation that I love, I have become something I hate.

The trail was mostly shaded with occasional bursts of sunlight to remind me that it was still summer. By the end of Sunday, it will be fall. Summer has left us behind for another year. The long cold winter is still months away, but change has begun. The winds picked up last night and chilled out the entire valley. It's still blowing cold this morning.

And with that cold air comes the feeling of insecurity. In the midst of all this scurrying around to convince the masses that killing thousands of people we'll never know in the name of freedom, we are losing exactly what we are fighting for. Our citizens are arrested for suggesting crimes--not actually acting, but just thinking about it. If you don't agree with the administration and you've got a government job--your job security is limited. They've got friends who are unemployed and would switch you out for them as quick as a fiddle. Does anyone have a vision far enough ahead to tell us what the affect of bombing Iraq into oblivion will do to our country in terms of goodwill among world nations and hatred among those who hate us already?

We've been given one fix to a hard to figure out puzzle and been told there is no alternative. When was the last time we were told we had a choice and only had one box to check? Isn't the whole point of democracy and capitalism that we have a choice about everything? We are about to step into the biggest pile of shit this world has ever seen, and I don't think we're wearing the right boots. But this is what we've been given. This is what we've chosen, and there's almost no going back.

We're losing our humanity here. We've lost touch with the rest of the world and instead of trying to understand them, we want them to change and be like us. Just a little news flash for the hawks out there: there are more of them out there than us.

You know what happens to bullies after they beat up too many little people? The little people get together and fight back.

Matt Worley never wanted to be king of the mountain, because the king always got knocked down a minute or two after his reign began.