Early on in the main part of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, the differences between Catholics and Protestants are outlined by a musical number ("Every Sperm Is Sacred") and a frank(ly funny) discussion between a man and a wife about "those little rubber things." His point was that they could have sex any time they wanted because, as a Protestant, they were allow to use birth control. Something about Martin Luther and his reform breaking the tyranny of church-controlled states everywhere.

When I started college, there were sex ed type classes in the dorms every week or so. The cool thing about the classes (which really didn't teach anything about having sex, just about everything that swirls around the act itself) was that, as a participant, you could have as many free condoms as you wanted. At the time, Bush Sr. was in the White House and the Berlin Wall had not yet quite fallen. So, y'know, it was a long time ago. Birth control, however, hasn't changed much since then.

Colin Powell went on MTV last week, primarily to talk about the war, but also to answer questions from young people around the world about whatever they wanted. I didn't watch much of it, but what I did watch made me think that the wrong Republican got elected as Prez. Of course, the Republicans weren't going to support Powell enough to get him through the primaries, so it's kind of a mute point. All the same, Powell is a very articulate speaker, and, for the most part, seems to know what he's talking about. When asked about condoms and A.I.D.S., he acknowledged that abstinence is a weak argument when most kids are having sex. Use a condom, he said. It's the best protection we've got right now.

Well, conservative Republicans, who sure as hell didn't elect Powell to represent their views, went into a tizzy.

What happened to "Just Say No?" they wondered. What happened to good old fashioned family values? What happened to the party line?

Powell knows the party line, and he doesn't really care. He's a former military man. He knows what pent up 18-to-22-year-olds want to do, and what most of them do actually do. They have sex. They have sex with people they don't care about, they pay for it, they sometimes even have sex with people they are in love with. But the bottom line is that most young people do not tow the abstinence line all the way through their college years and on to marriage. And to not give them an alternative when saying "No!" fails is not a good idea.

A condom company recently gave the Olympic committee 20,000 condoms to distribute through the dorms during the games. At the last Olympics, the athletes ran out of protection before the games were over. And these are the best athletic specimens from most of the countries around the world. They aren't worried about politics, they just see the games as a nice way to meet someone in really good shape.

I remember idealistic young people in my political science classes who would swear up and down that socialism and communism is the way to go. Everyone gets the same, and everyone will be happy. The problem with socialism and communism is the same as saying that abstinence is a viable alternative when hormones and wants and needs are cursing through your body like sex smack. The practice is hopelessly out of date and inconsistent with human nature.

When it comes to political systems, human nature dictates that there has to be a leader. People want direction. People want to know that there is a chain of command. Socialism and communism (the pure forms at least) do not leave room for the Darwinian theory. And Darwin was pretty much right. The cream of the crop rises to the top and leads. Everyone else (for the most part) falls in line. Socialism and communism forget that there is a human need to achieve and grow, a competition streak, a desire to be number one or at least feel like you tried.

Abstinence has the same problem. It ignores human want and need. It assumes that everyone's brain is always triumphant over one's body. And, from what I've observed over the last decade plus, most people don't even check with their brain first when it comes to sex. And if they do, it's probably way before the date even starts, just to get the brain out of the way.

Towing the Republican party line on this was never on Colin Powell's mind. He understands the real world when it comes to this. Those in his party who are all up in arms about his remarks need to realize that being idealistic is no match for the human heart. Or body. The brain, for all of its musty importance, rarely trumps the cursing need to get some sexual attention.

So as the Republican party officials sift through their platform and try to figure out how they're going to reign in Colin Powell, the rest of us can go down to the 7-11 and pick up a few condoms. Y'know, just in case.

We haven't stuck our heads in the sand about this yet.

Matt Worley wasn't one of the guys who took a huge handful of free condoms, because he thought that was a little over-presumptuous and greedy.