I was out with a friend this weekend, and she asked if I had any New Year's resolutions. I was a little stumped about this question, because I hadn't really thought much about it. In my eyes, I don't have any severe problems that need a resolution to fix. I don't have to quit smoking or drinking. I'm not obese, although I could use a little more exercise. I'm not addicted to Internet chat or coke or sex or cell phones or coffee or anything that might cut down my life expectancy in a large way. I don't wear my seatbelt much, but I never have, and I'm still alive.

I'm not perfect. I'm sure there are a few people who could make a nice list of things I need to fix about myself. I'm not asking them to give me the list, though. But what to do about the new year, considering I was so relieved to be over with last year? Obviously I'd like the new year to be different from last year. How should I make these changes or shifts or whatever to make sure 2002 is better than 2001?

"There are many questions to be answered, stories to be told and taboos to be broken."

This is actually a line from something I was going to write last year and never did. A note I took because I thought I wanted to write about a certain subject and then abandoned that thought later on. But I'm reviving it for a whole new subject, a whole new year.

This is what I have to say about the new year. It's all up in the air. I'm going to wade into the sea of uncertainty and hopefully something good will come of it.

Of course, this isn't really that interesting an answer to the question. My New Year's resolution? To be someone of substance. And hopefully that person will be me and not some alter-me. Some off-shoot of the real me who seems like the real thing but is really just some of the best and a couple of the worst things about me.

I would love to tell you that there will be no more new taxes, but I'm not an idiot. We're in a recession. The government is broke again (how long did that take to happen?), and the best way for the government to make money is to charge its citizens. Because big business sure doesn't want to pay anything. And since the government sent out those really big checks to everyone last year (how long did you live on that $300 or less?), they're tapped out.

And there's the war, this unending snipe hunt for the head of a monster with no heads. When we've decided that bombing a fourth world country into oblivion is done, we'll move on to some other "enemy of the people." Probably Iraq, because they don't have to tell any new stories about Iraq. We know all about those bastards. We don't even need to prime the pump.

But that's all big picture. That is out of my control. I can bitch and moan if I want (and trust me, I will), but what I can actually do about the things my government does is negligible. I'm still going to pay my taxes (no matter how much they are) because it's like a payoff. For all the bad things I do, at least I still give the government their share and they leave me alone.

What can I do about myself? What can I do to fix the world I live in? The small part of the world called Albuquerque, N.M. The even smaller part of the world called my life.

These needs are harder to address. Because there is the obvious: I need to meet new people. I need a larger dating pool. I need to inject a little newness to the life I've built.

Change is slow, but ever-occurring. I can feel it. I can feel it. And someday, others will notice it and ask themselves, "Can I do something different?" Soon the revolution of constant change in the midst of stability will be the norm. No one will be the same every day. Everyone will become schizophrenic. Everyone will be their own best friend.

Wait a minute, that's not what I meant. Maybe I should just take this one step at a time. Give me time. I'll get it right and then I'll let you all know. I swear. Where are those goals? I know I put them around here somewhere...

Matt Worley is currently in the middle of the rest of his life.