One of my duties lately is to review movies for a local weekly newspaper, and unless I have an ill feeling about the feature or have something better to do, I pretty much take every movie they offer me. Yesterday, I watched Notorious C.H.O. which is Margaret Cho's latest stand up comedy movie. The Korean American woman rattles on about what it would be like if men had periods, getting a colonic, and her wide ranging sexual adventures. Guaranteed to annoy and amuse, depending on what she is saying.

She ended her stand up act with a message I think is worth repeating. Billions of dollars are being spent by advertisers to tell you how to look and think. They will show you thin models who wear clothes that wouldn't fit on her finger. They show you revitalizing creme that doesn't revitalize shit. If you don't naturally fall into their categories, they want you to strive desperately to become what they sell. Cho said if she added up all the time she spent each week, every minute of self loathing in the mirror, every second of stressing over a diet, it would add up to 97 minutes a week. She could have taken a pottery class instead! The message: accept who you are and go from there.

Sounds pretty simple, but I can't help but think there are millions upon millions who are falling victim to advertising in all its forms. I used to watch an ungodly amount of television--sitcoms, dramas, sports, Star Trek, Xena, news, cartoons, MTV, late night talk shows and on and on. I would take notice of the advertising that each show had attached to it. When ads came on for tampons and liquid soap, I wondered if I was watching the correct show. I refused to succumb to the nature of advertising directly. When beer commercials came on, it was a reminder to drink, but I'll be damn if I go out and buy Coors or Bud Light. I may be an alcoholic, but I've got some self respect as well.

I meet groups of people who wear exactly the same clothes, order the same food at restaurants, and talk the same way. Millions of women have had the "Rachel" haircut. Millions of guys have owned football jerseys. All in attempt to be connected with a show, or a trend, or an advertising gimmick. A sense of belonging by having the correct belongings.

A musician friend of mine described what he called 90 percent of the people he meets at the bars while performing. People work jobs that they don't really enjoy, and they have no hobby that they passionately pursue. They go to bars and drink, they watch TV and veg, they go back to work and do their job. There is nothing dangerous about these people, but there is not exciting about them either. They are also most susceptible to the brainwashing.

I'm gaining weight, so I better go on some peculiar diet. I'm getting older, so I buy the Fountain of Youth creme. I'm going bald, so I better put my pubic hair on my head. My tits are too small, my butt's too big. Too many lines on my face, too many folds in my chin. The truth is that you cannot buy your way to perfection, because by the time you get enough plastic surgery to be considered perfect, the definition of perfection will change.

When it comes down to it, there is no right way to be. You may come across groups of people who believe they know the right way, but the more they try to convince, the less sense they make. Everyone thinks they have the right answer, and they stress that if you want to belong, you must succumb to their style, their beliefs, and their form of advertising.

Beware of the brainwashing because it occurs all over the place in all sorts of ways. Blonde twins selling beer, the faithful selling religion, punks selling anarchy, family selling tradition, models selling pimple creme, networks selling programming, dealers selling drugs, employers selling 50 hours of commitment a week, radio stations selling the same 30 songs, hookers selling meaningless sex, insurance salesmen selling protection, morticians selling your final resting place.

All they really want is your money, attention and devotion, and nothing scares them more than a person who decides for themselves what to do. Search out the individual in yourself. The answer is not in the ads or the fads.

Chris Jungle alienates himself from everyone, even Margaret Cho.