It was only a matter of time. A 56-year-old maintenance worker named Caesar Barber filed an anti-fast food lawsuit in New York. Barber has a heart condition and claims that malevolent marketing techniques by fast food companies directly caused his poor health. He ate fast food because it was efficient and cheap. It never dawned on him that he could be damaging his health. It's amazing to me that while we are willing to bomb other countries in order to protect our Freedom, we have so many citizens who fail to take responsibility for their own actions. I haven't seen any pictures of Caesar Barber, but I would wager he is an overweight individual and has been for a long time. I'm sure he had no idea that being overweight could cause health problems. Apparently, that's our defense for everything‹we have no idea:

I had no idea that drinking heavily would cause liver damage. I thought it would make big-breasted women smile and rub themselves against me. Even after the big-breasted women did not appear regardless of how much I drank, I had no idea that I could get alcohol poisoning, become sick and die.

I had no idea smoking marijuana would effect my memory. I thought we would all unite with one love, one heart, get together and feel all right. Even after toking up every day of my adult life, I had no idea that I would be lethargic, apathetic and hazy in general.

I had no idea that refusing to exercise would lead to a weak and useless body. I thought someone would make a pill or machine that would make me healthy without any effort on my part. Even after years of declining to even trot one hundred feet, I had no idea that I would be tired and prone to sickness all of the time.

I had no idea that the gas guzzling cars we have driven for years created all that pollution. I thought that since I drive all the time that I wouldn't have to deal with the air. Even after years of permanent brown clouds and apocalyptic sunsets, I had no idea that I would get headaches and health problems because of my car. I had no idea that television would suck away and desensitize my life. I thought that since they put all those ratings for shows that we knew which shows were worth watching. Even after thousands of hours of staring at the soft stunning glow, I had no idea that I would have no original thoughts and become a slave to advertising.

I had no idea that neglecting my family would lead to their indifference and absence. I thought that since that since I put a roof over their head for a couple decades that they would be in my debt forever. Even after years of ignoring their well-being and upbringing, I had no idea they would one day leave and never want to come back.

I had no idea that smoking cigarettes would give me lung cancer. I thought that since a cartoon camel could smoke for years without coughing, then so could I. Even after years of seeing all the other smokers get sick, I had no idea that my addictive behavior would have a downside.

I had no idea that big business was just in it for the money. I thought that they had to answer to stockholders and their best interests. Even after years of scandals, I had no idea that CEOs would cash in my money and leave me hanging out to dry.

I had no idea that I am supposed to take responsibility for my own life and actions. I thought my boss would pay me, my government would protect me, my family would love me, and every day would be Christmas morning. Even after years of ignoring the blatant and apparent signs of something being wrong, I had no idea that everything I do has an effect on my life.

Since I'm such an idiot, I better sue someone for not being smarter.

Chris Jungle had no idea he would write a column like this.