George was a big kid, the biggest kid in the entire school. And he was only in the first grade.

When he was in kindergarten, George wondered why all the other kids weren't his friends. Some of them were downright mean. So he got mad a lot and scared all of the kids into treating him nicely. But they weren't his friends. Even though they smiled at him when he talked to them, they slowly shrank away from him until they were far enough away to run.

This bothered George. Most days after school he went home and cried. The kids weren't mean to him any more, but he wanted someone to play with, someone who would be nice to him because they liked him.

So he asked his mom one day what he should do.

"Well, George, you should be nice to them. Then they'll be nice to you back. They might even become your friends if you're nice enough."

"But Mom," he whined. "Danielle says nasty things about me behind my back, and that kid Zamir's daddy wears a diaper on his head. Why should I be nice to them?"

"If you want them to be your friends, then you be nice to them. Even if they aren't your friends, you'll be a better person." George didn't care much about being a better person. After all, he was the biggest kid in the school. But he did want some friends. So one day he told Danielle he thought her dress was pretty, and she smiled at him. She didn't run away. She sat down and talked to him for two whole minutes. Feeling good about himself, he asked Zamir why his daddy wore a diaper on his head. Even though somewhat insulted by the question, Zamir could see that George wasn't trying to make fun of him. So he explained to George the cultural significance of his father's kafia.

After a few days, the new "nice" George had won over the entire class. Well, almost the entire class. There was one boy who still didn't like George.

Billy was a scrawny kid. He had bad skin. He sat in the back of the class. Even the teacher didn't like him. Not only that, but Billy's dad did bad things to George's dad back when they were babies. George's dad still said bad things about Billy's dad. A couple of the other kids talked to Billy every once in a while, but not for very long. No one wanted to be Billy's friend. He wasn't a very nice boy.

While it was fine that all the other kids were George's friends, he still wanted to get back at Billy for all the things Billy's dad had done to his dad. He figured that if all the other kids were his friends and that none of them really liked Billy, then none of them would mind if he acted like a bully just one more time.

So one morning, George waited for Billy's bus to arrive. When he saw Billy, George grabbed him and pulled him into the bushes, where he gave him a right thrashing.

George felt really good about himself when he walked into class. He'd brushed the leaves and dirt off his clothes so it looked like he hadn't done anything. Billy didn't come to class.

A few minutes later, the principal ducked his head into the classroom and asked for George to come down to the office.

George expected this. He knew the principal had to tell him he was a bad boy for beating up Billy. That was no big deal. He might even get suspended for a day or something. Whatever.

And that's exactly what happened. His mom told him she was disappointed in him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else was she going to say? That night, his dad told him--quietly, so that his mom couldn't hear--he was proud of him for acting like a real man. George knew he'd done the right thing.

After his suspension, George went back to class. And his friends weren't friendly any more. It was like kindergarten all over again. None of the kids would look at him, much less talk to him. Danielle and Zamir sat on either side of Billy, and the three of them passed notes among themselves. Notes that George was sure were about him. Nasty notes. But when he tried to get the teacher to take the notes and read them in front of the class, the teacher just called him a tattletale and told him to get back to work.

George just couldn't understand what had happened. So he went back to being a bully. That was so much easier than trying to be everybody's friend.

Jon Worley would like to point out that there is no moral to this story. None whatsoever.