When I answer the phone, I usually say something like "hey" or "yeah" or "huh." This is sometimes a little disconcerting to people calling, who are really looking for something closer to a friendly "hello," but since a lot of the people calling me don't know me (i.e. telemarketers and the like), all I really have to do to activate the automatic answering thingie is to voice something vaguely human. So I keep it short.

When I do know that it is someone I know, I usually ask, "What's going on?" This cuts to the chase. I get the immediate answer, why they called or where they are calling from and everything falls into place after that.

Lately, that question has not always yielded sufficient results. There is a haze or a cloud or something that is not acknowledged by this simple question. There is confusion and anger. There is an undefinable strangeness that cannot be quantified. In other words, no one knows what's going on right now.

Earlier this week I read an article (on Yahoo!) that outlined a request from the U.S. Government for viable fighting scenarios to defeat terrorism in Afghanistan and elsewhere. Citizens have been asked to submit a one page summary on three different points by Sunday, December 23, 2001. If the ideas on this one page summary are good enough, the government might ask for another 12 pages of detail to back up the scenarios. No monetary reward was promised or offered, but one would assume something would be given for good ideas. I mean, this is still a capitalist country, isn't it?

I don't know if this request is real or not, but since it was on Yahoo!, there could be some truth to it. I haven't seen any mention of the request in any of the newspapers I read, but it could be under the radar right now. And, besides, there's almost two months to go before the deadline.

Is our government so confused and uncertain of victory against terrorism that they need to ask the militia nuts of our country for good ideas? This seems to be saying that neither the government or the military know what's going on either.

The economy is still in see saw mode. We are rapidly nearing the Christmas buying season and recovery from the burst bubble has only shown its head occasionally, usually dumping gains a week or so later. It has recovered mostly from the September attacks, but the economy wasn't so rosy before that--even though EVERY company has blamed recent downturns and lost revenue directly on the attacks.

Will America recover from our tremendous loss long enough to go on a shopping binge? Will another round of economic stimulus do the trick? Is there any company worth putting money into other than those that make American flags and patriotic-related products?

Once again, nobody knows what's going on.

Some school districts around the country (specifically, Topeka, Kansas, where evolution is thought of as a rogue theory without scientific merit) are only allowing students to dress in patriotic Halloween costumes. I'm not sure what patriotic Halloween costumes look like, but I assume this means a lot of Superman and Wonder Woman getups. It would be a little scary to see 8-year-olds dressed as George Washington or Harriet Tubman--but I don't think this is really in the spirit of Halloween. Does this mean I can wear an American flag as a toga and make like John Belushi in Animal House?

This one isn't so surprising, but I don't think the Superintendent of the Topeka school system knows what's going on either.

Of course, I can't get away from the confusion in my personal life either. My girlfriend loves to wonder aloud whether what we're doing is serious and moving in the "right" direction or if we're just fooling around. She claims both options are fine with her at the moment, but her confusion is evident. And I wonder (not so aloud) if there is a difference between seriously unbuttoning her jeans or doing it playfully.

So I shrug, smile and don't give a good answer, because I don't know what's going on either.

Matt Worley is fighting a war he will never win.