It's hard work being #1. Americans work longer and harder than all the of the other developed countries in the world. You can read into that statement in many ways, but the fact is that there more people pulling the 50-hour work week than those who work 30 hours and go for 20 hours worth of long walks. People would rather make another buck than sit quietly in the comfort of their homes. This is why we have Labor Day. If we weren't told to take a three-day weekend, most of us never would.

Employees on vacation regularly check with the office, through e-mail or the phone. Many people never use up all of the vacation time they accrue throughout the year. Jobs give people purpose. If the job disappears, so does the purpose. It's all part of keeping order.

I worked as a cashier at a 24-hour restaurant, and one of my fellow cashier picked up 20 extra hours a week for a month. He wanted 60-hour work weeks so he could make 50 percent more than he regularly would an hour. While this sounded very noble, I couldn't help pointing out to him that we made five dollars an hour. Even if you bumped me up to $7.50, I still wouldn't want to work 60 hours a week as a cashier in a 24-hour restaurant. Neither of us worked the job for more than a year, and all of the money we earned has long since been spent.

Why do we work so hard? We are in debt. No matter how much we make, we spend even more. We dive in for the instant gratification of nothing down, don't pay anything until 2002, charge it, put it on my tab, I'll get you the next time around lifestyle. The credit debt of the average American is $8000. It really puts that $300 tax relief check into perspective.

Contrary to what people think, my parents tried to instill a strong work ethic in me. It just didn't take. They made my brothers and I work every Sunday after church. We came to dread church, housework, and yard work. The main problem I had was that the chores and projects never ended. No reward for a job well done. We intentionally worked slowly for fear of having to do something else. Once on my own, I abandoned all official Sunday activities. Even God rested on the seventh day, and there's no way I'm going to work as hard as God.

I don't know who came up with the 40-hour work week, but I bet they are dead now. My main problem with the eight-hour work day is that it is more than eight hours. Sure you're at work for eight hours, but once you add morning prep time, drive time, lunch time, and recoup time when the day is done, your eight hour day is more like ten. By then, you are too worn out accomplish any personal ambition you might have for yourself. There are a lot of full-time employees who are creative, but they will never know because they spend most of the weekend on the couch, gearing up for another week of the same old thing.

So what will save us from our hard working selves? More holidays! We need more Labor Days. There is absolutely no reason why we can't have a national holiday once a month. We have enough famous people to declare every day a holiday, so it shouldn't be too hard to come up enough reasons not too work. And if that's not enough double negatives for you, nobody nowhere shouldn't never refuse to take a day off.

There's nothing wrong with hard work. Some of the most satisfying moments in life can be kicking back at the end of the day after giving it your all. It's the grind that worries me. That monotonous ritual of the day to day human machinery. Same shit, different day.

That's it for today. I've already worked far too hard. This is Labor Day weekend, and I've got some serious lounging to do. For now, it's the only Labor Day we have, so I better take advantage.

Chris Jungle practices the philosophy of The Big Lebowski.