For years, researchers have studied red wine, white wine, beer, bourbon and even PGA. Most every time, they come across the (apparently startling) result that having a drink or two every day seems to "take the edge off" and reduce the stress levels of most people tested. Even more than that, for some reason moderate alcohol intake seems to reduce the incidence heart disease in a certain portion of the population.

At least, that's what a report released last week said. The reason for this finding had something to do with how most people absorb alcohol, a property which seems to be genetically determined. And so, this report also had a little bit to say about one genetic cause of alcoholism.

And we're talking about any sort of alcohol here. Not just red wine, which has benefited from years of "to your health" types of advertising. Nope, any ol' sort of fermented sugar (distilled or not) seems to turn the trick and keep heart a tickin'.

Me, I'm a beer man. As a matter of fact, I'm enjoying a Fuller's ESB (Extra Special Bitter) even as I write this. A splendid brew, I might add. In any case, it's pretty damned exciting to hear even more proof that beer can be a healthful drink. I can hear the rallying cries now. Charlie Papazian, patron saint of homebrewers, popularized "Relax! Have a homebrew!" more than 20 years ago. It's one of the best aphorisms around. Then there's the banal but still inspiring "A pint a day keeps the cardiologist away." I figure at some point we'll hear something simpler, a chant that goes "Poundin' brewskis, clearin' arteries!"

Of course, regular folks have known of beer's healthful qualities ever since it was first made back in Mesopotamia a few thousand years ago. The earliest known recipe (written in cuneiform script on a clay tablet) is for beer. The Egyptians made a hearty form of beer (it consisted essentially of bread left out in the rain for a few days and then fermented) that served as a full meal. In Europe and Africa, villages would often brew special batches of beer for weddings, pregnancies and new mothers.

See, beer is best for women. Turns out that hops spur the production of estrogen. This also explains the unfortunate malady known as Brewer's Droop (a self-explanatory condition, I believe). A small amount of beer consumption during pregnancy (say, a beer every couple of days) may even help both the mother and fetus.

Of course, here in the U.S., doctors don't even like to think about such things. When presented with evidence from Europe as to the possible benefits of a small amount of beer (or wine) consumption during pregnancy, the American Medical Association throws a fit. Just like it did last week with the news about alcohol's possible aid in fighting heart disease.

I read and heard many things from the medical establishment, and the argument generally went like this: "We think if we encourage people to drink they'll forget all about diet and exercise and turn to alcohol as some sort of magic bullet." These are the same folks who refuse to recognize the benefits of marijuana to those suffering from glaucoma.

Not to mention the idiots who can't see that a toke or two might help restore the appetites of those undergoing chemotherapy. Even a fool knows that getting a little baked brings on the munchies. So not only is the sedative high taking the person's mind off the stress of fighting cancer, it's also paving the way for a good dinner. Who can argue with that?

Our leaders have instilled a healthy fear of drugs in the people of our nation. We are, after all, the most-medicated society on earth. I just don't understand how a doctor who prescribes Prozac to any idiot or one who writes out a note for Ritalin for every child he sees can turn around and pooh-pooh serious research that says alcohol and marijuana may have a health benefit or two.

Plenty of people can't handle their booze. I know a few folks who struggle with that problem every day. There are also those who like to get stoned a bit more often than they should. But the vast majority of the folks who drink or smoke pot are responsible, productive members of society. Hard as it may be to believe in our Puritanical society, most folks can handle their highs.

I'm gonna drink beer and wine (and the odd touch of gin or bourbon) because I like to do so. I'm pleased there may be health benefits for tossing a few back, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna starting eating junk and stop exercising. Do these doctors think we're all fools who would destroy ourselves without their constant harping?

Oh. Right. I forgot. No matter. Even advice from the desk of the AMA should be taken in moderation.

Jon Worley tipples in and around Durham, N.C.