Good afternoon, America, how are you? Don't you know it's a brighter day now that we have a God-fearing, right thinking American in the White House? I'm Oliver North, and today on Common Sense Radio we're going to talk about the most important issue facing us as a nation: How long are we going to let the Federal Government keep our money hostage?

As you know, our new president has put forth a proposal to cut taxes by about one point six trillion dollars over the next ten years. He's on the right track, but I don't think he's gone far enough. Why, a fine, upstanding American like myself would only see about fifty thousand dollars in tax reductions. That braying Tom Dashiell may think I could buy a Lexus with that, but only one of them stripped down models. If I wanted a Lexus LS 430--base model, mind you, no leather seats or any of that stuff--I'd have to shell out fifty-four grand. Add a decent stereo and the leather and, well, I'm no where near what I'd need.

Is this fair? Should a God-fearing American like myself be denied the use of a fine automobile because our president doesn't have the courage to fight the democrats for a bigger tax cut? Let's go to the phones. Ed from Maclean, go ahead.

"Yeah, Ollie, I just wanted to say that I love your show. Keep on them commies, okay?"

Yes sir, Ed!

"Well, I've been looking over the Bush plan, and I think I'd be getting back about forty grand."

What would you do with it?

"You know, I wouldn't buy a car. I've got a Bentley already..."

Say no more!

"Right. So I was thinking of maybe putting something down on a small fishing boat."

Do a little deep sea fishing off Delmarva?

"Something like that. Problem is, for even a thirty-five footer I'm looking at a couple hundred grand."

Whoa, Ed, what kinda of boat do you want?

"I was thinking of a nice sixty-footer. You know what those go for these days?"

Probably north of few hundred thousand. Am I close?

"Not really, but that doesn't matter. I need a bigger tax cut."

Well, Ed, I'm with you. We can always hope that Dick Army and other Christian soldiers do their parts in Congress. Let's go to Al in Sunrise Beach. Al, you're on Common Sense Radio.

"Thanks, Ollie. Love the show. I've got a problem with this tax cut, too. See, I've had my eye on a Gulfstream jet for quite a while, but I just can't seem to find the scratch. This tax cut would only net me about a hundred and fifty grand, which wouldn't be enough for a year's maintenance, much less payments. Seems to me we ought to be lowering the top rate to about ten percent or so."

Then you could get your Gulfstream.

"Right. And stimulate the economy and all. You know, if I get that plane, I gotta hire a pilot and pay mechanics to look after it, and then they take that money and pay rent and mortgages and buy food down at the Albertson's and before you know it, those migrant workers down in Broward and Dade counties are seeing their wages increase."

All because you bought a plane.

"That's right."

Al, I must say I haven't heard such an impassioned, precise description of trickle down economics in years. You are a true patriot.

"Ollie, I can't thank you enough. Keep leading America in the right direction."

Yes sir, Al! George from the Bronx, you're on Common Sense Radio.

"I'm in a bind here, Ollie. I just signed my shortstop for about nineteen million a year for ten years. And now everyone is telling me a made a bad deal."

George, do you have something to say about the tax cut?

"Hell, yes, I do! I just paid a hundred and eighty-nine million for one player. Do you know what that's going to do to me in terms of luxury tax payments to the commissioner?"

Now, George, I'm talking about the tax plan President Bush has proposed.

"That idiot? Geez, the only reason he got elected was so that rich guys like us could pass laws to make ourselves richer. Why the hell are you talking about that fool? I want to talk about something important here."

I can't think of anything more important than the fiscal future of Americans.

"You really are a moron, you know that? You believe anything you're told. If the president told you you were a German Shepherd, you'd get down on your knees and bark."

I know I'm not a German Shepherd, George.

"All those idiots told you that you're some kind of American hero, mostly because you sold guns to the Iranians and didn't go to jail. Hell, man, I funneled money to Nixon and didn't go to jail. Does that make me a hero?"

In my book, it sure does.

"Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. So what am I going to do when Derek Jeter starts booting balls left and right and then goes into a hitting slump. People are going to start charting his dollars-to-strikeout ratio. I'm going to look like a complete idiot having to pay this guy an amount that far surpasses the GNP of Bangladesh. How do I save face here? What can I do, Ollie?"

George, I think you're going to have to work that one out all by yourself. This is Oliver North, and you're listening to Common Sense Radio.

Jon Worley might be more excited about a tax cut if he hadn't gotten a pink slip recently.