Way back in the good ol' days (1992 vintage), I spent an autumn working on the Bill Clinton for President campaign. I made the princely sum of $500 a month while working 12-hour days six days a week (on Sundays we only worked the normal eight hours). I don't have to tell you that this was my favorite job of all time.

The main perk was an opportunity to buy two tickets to an Inaugural Ball on the evening of January 20, 1993. I can't remember if the tickets were $75, $100 or $125 apiece. It doesn't matter. Once you got past the $15 I was willing to shell out for an Iron Maiden show, the price signified one thing: Unnecessary extravagance.

Well, in this case, a necessary extravagance. But whatever. The tickets were dear, and I had to rent a tux as well. My girlfriend Barbara (who happens to be my wife these days) spent a nice chunk of change on her dress. Not counting those expenses (or airfare--which I will address), I believe it is still possible to "do" Washington D.C. on less than $40 a day. Which should be important news to the three Republicans heading to the national capital next weekend who might qualify as "impoverished." I'm all about public service, you know.

Anyway, here's a few handy hints:

1. Get somebody else to pay for the trip

I'm not being facetious here. Barbara's dad paid for the flight out to D.C. with frequent flier miles. He wasn't out any cash and we didn't have to front any.

1a. Drive to D.C.

Barbara and one of her roommates actually drove to D.C. on a Friday night, marched at a pro-choice rally on a Sunday and drove back to Missouri that night, not missing any important classes on Monday. Alright, so they spent more than a day in the car all told, but they did it. If you're more than a few hours west of the Mississippi, however, this bit of advice just isn't any good.

2. Stay in one of the crummy suburbs

May I suggest the Silver Spring Inn? I don't know what their rates are now, but we got a room for $25 a night ($12.50 a day). Assuming even downtown Silver Spring has spruced up a bit, let's say you could get a room for $40 a night (I'm sure this is true). That's $20 each day (assuming double occupancy; if you're into the group thing you can save even more).

3. Get hammered before the Inaugural Ball

I don't know what prices will be this year, but "drink coupons" (good for one beer or glass of wine) were $4 a pop back in 1992. We're not talking good beer or wine, either. You might as well slam down a gallon of Gallo before you stagger into the hall. And don't worry about being sloppy drunk. Everybody is smashed. We were at the least exclusive ball, which meant that we got Lyle Lovett and the Fabulous Thunderbirds--the only good entertainment at any of the 14 balls around the city. The MTV ball? Their big name was--no joke--Kenny Loggins. So get blitzed before you go and start a slam pit in the middle of Belinda Carlisle's set. You might as well get your money's worth, right?

4. Ride the Metro after nine-thirty in the morning

Why after 9:30? Because as soon as the big arm is between the 9 and the 10 and the little arm is past the 6, you can buy an all-day pass on the subway for $5. I don't need to tell you how good a deal this is. If you plan on being in town for a while, you can get a one-week pass for $25. Then you can ride whenever you want without worrying about the 9:30 rule.

5. Almost every museum in D.C. is free

All of the different Smithsonian Institution museums, the Holocaust museum, the National Mint, all the memorials (Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, Roosevelt, Vietnam, Washington Senators, etc.) and much more are free! Yes, they will be crowded. And because most of the people will be Republican, they'll probably be fat, too. Doesn't matter. I'll let you in on a secret: Free museums are always crowded. When I lived in Not-Quite-Amish-Country, we'd sneak down to D.C. on a day we thought would be clear. There is no such thing. Even on a Wednesday in the middle of February, the places are packed.

6. Eat exclusively in Chinatown

Dollar for dollar, you can't do better than the little storefront restaurants in D.C.'s Chinatown. A box of noodles for lunch (say, $2-3) and copious quantities of a surprisingly tasty dinner ($5-7) should satisfy. If you really need breakfast, buy a hot dog from a street vendor ($1). Special bonus: Chinatown is just a couple blocks from the Mall, so you don't have to walk far for the good food.

7. Catch a show at the Black Cat

If you want nightlife, you can boogie at a club and pay through the nose, or you can slink down to the Black Cat (about a half-mile northeast of Dupont Circle), pay a $5 cover and listen to obscure (and sometimes terrible) bands. There is a bonus: Good beer can be had for $3 a pint. Depending on how much you have left in your pockets, you might even have the cash for two.

8. Be in bed by midnight

The metro quits running right around then, and you really don't want to pay for a cab out to Silver Spring (or wherever). Get to bed early (or at least, get to the room early and watch a little Skinimax).

And, voila! You, too, can experience the majesty and pageantry of the transfer of power in the American political system for less than $40 a day. Be the first on your block to discover that George W. Bush's speaking style actually disguises backward masking.

Last fall, Jon Worley discovered that when you play W's rendition of "subliminable" backwards it sounds suspiciously like "I like big muffins."