A few weeks ago my boss acquiesced to the request that we get wireless DSL at the office. We had been working with an ISDN line, which is fine if you are sending e-mail and small packets of information over the Internet. But sometimes we deal with big packages. Large, stuffed bunches of ones and zeros that are the bread winners of the office. And since the office is so far away from the central phone centers of down (a necessity for getting a ground DSL line from U.S. West...I mean Qwest), the only upgrade available was wireless DSL.

Not as clumsy or faulty as a blaster. A more civilized weapon for a more civilized age.

Last Monday morning, we came to work to find that our service was down. And since Monday is the official meeting day for the office, all the grunts and complaints (and the necessity of having constant Internet service) came to the table. And then the ultimate threat--that our wireless service, so new and relatively untested might get taken way--came from our boss. Productivity! Reliability! Lost time and services! The exclamation marks are totally deserved.

But what came out of the meeting for me was this: I need to take advantage of these new, bigger pipes while I can. I'd been a little busy during our first few weeks of DSL service, but last week, I had a little time. I downloaded Macster (the Mac interface for the newest music industry demon: Napster), an MP3 player and another small program needed to run everything correctly.

Within minutes I was sitting with a simple search interface asking me which artist or song I wanted to find. Faced with the daunting task of actually choosing, I typed in something simple: jazz.

I pulled down a sound file called "acid jazz" and found that it wasn't really acid jazz at all, actually watered down techno with stupid lyrics. It became, soon after, one of the only downloads that I pitched in the trash.

I started off with novelty ditties, one hit wonders, all those songs I remember but never spent the money or time to make my own. Lots of those 80s songs that have been turning up on soundtracks in the last few years. Oh yeah, I pulled down Britney Spears' rendition of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Isn't it cute that a nineteen year old can change a song about trying to get laid into a song about skirt length and girl power?

With the exception of a very few (most notably the Dandy Warhols' "Big Indian"), I pulled down songs I wouldn't pay for (or don't already own)...ever. In other words, I'm doing exactly what the big bad record companies are really worried about: I'm cheating them out of money.

But, to be completely honest, it's money they never, ever, ever would have seen in the first place. Most of the time I buy used CDs (small record stores get at least 50% of the profit from used CDs--much more than the 25% or so they get from new CDs), and the record companies have already made their money off those from the original purchaser.

I remember a few years back when reselling CDs became the rage, and the recording industry was totally sure this would send them into the red. Instead, there have been record profits over the last few years. I think, for the most part, the recording industry is crying wolf a little too early on Napster.

In other words, fuck Metallica and Dr. Dre. They've made their money, they're just crying over the monetary equivalent of spilt milk.

I've downloaded about a hundred or so songs in the last few days. It's crashed my computer a few times. Because I actually have to do work while all the downloading is going on, I'm taxing my computer a little bit. I have my jukebox going, Macster is humming, and I'm working on a report in Quark with bits and pieces coming from Word and Excel. I've got a G3, but sometimes it's just a little too much for the kid.

But this is what I pay for the small pleasure of having a completely customized jukebox on my computer at work.

I set up a couple other people at work with the Macster/Napster set up. One is completely daunted by having to choose songs to download (he is, for the most part, a radio listener--not a big time record buyer). The other searched for the band Tool right after getting on the network, selected thirty or so songs and then asked "So how do I get them to download?" I told him to take it a little slower, pace himself, it'll be better that way.

So I'm a criminal, and I'm spreading this disease on to other people I know. If they end up shutting down Napster (I really have no clue how this trial is going to come out, but for the most part, big business usually snuffs the interloper), hopefully I'll have a nice chunk of songs to put on endless rotation.

Personally, I really hate it when rich people who have trouble fitting all their money in their pockets look at the dollars they've dropped on the floor and yell, "People are stealing from me!"

So I'm gonna keep stealing, cause I'm feeling like a criminal.

Matt Worley completely condones piracy of all kinds, mostly because he's never made any serious kind of money from his own "intellectual property."