Last week, Major League Baseball decided they'd been too harsh on one of their own: John Rocker. After giving an interview full of racial hatred, indignation and ugliness to Sports Illustrated, Rocker was (eventually, after much debate and mental examination) given a suspension of 28 days along with a $20,000 fine. The suspension was cut in half (14 days), while the fine was cut to almost nothing: $500. Rocker's supporters (namely his agent and the representatives of the MLB players union) pointed out that he hadn't done anything wrong, just said some "unfortunate" things to a national magazine.

Okay, I guess they're right. See, if Rocker had tested positive for drugs, they could have thrown him out. If he'd assaulted someone associated with baseball, he might have been dismissed. And if he'd bet on baseball, well, we wouldn't even be talking now, would we?

John Rocker only espoused his beliefs, you see. He only said that anyone who wasn't white should get the hell out of his country. He called one of his teammates a "fat monkey," but was kind enough not to point out exactly who the monkey was. Rocker also called everyone in New York stupid, not surprising considering the ugly scenes that accompanied his presence in the playoffs and World Series last year. Basically Rocker exposed that he is not the smartest guy in the world and probably shouldn't be the profile of any future articles because he doesn't know how to control himself.

For his part, Rocker is extremely sorry about everything that's happened. And everyone says that he really means it. This isn't just some presto chango image fix, this is true sorrow for his words and epithets quoted in the notorious article. And I believe that Rocker is sorry. I'd be sorry too if I almost lost my multi-millionaire job throwing fast balls. I'd be on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness. Anything to keep me from having to go into the real world looking for a real job where I might get fired for saying all the things Rocker said in the Sports Illustrated article.

You see, most employers don't like it when an employee creates a hostile work environment. And when you insult fellow employees in a national forum, you are creating a hostile work environment. This is grounds for dismissal in most places. But not in baseball.

If you are in the armed forces and tell someone that you are gay, this is grounds for dismissal. An openly gay man in the Army would cause a hostile work environment--and they are routinely discharged for espousing their views. However, there is no official policy about open bigots in the armed forces. And, apparently, there isn't much of one in baseball either.

There is a scene in the classic teen flick Heathers where two members of the football team confront J.D., the new guy in school (played by Christian Slater), in the lunchroom with the line, "Doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule?" To which J.D. says, "They seem to have an open door policy for assholes, though, don't they."

Baseball, too, seems to have an open door policy for assholes.

As a people, we reward the extraordinary--a definition that seems to get watered down every year. These people are showered with money, praise and unprecedented scrutiny. But instead of actually punishing these "extraordinary" people when they're stupid, we slap them on the wrist and tell them not to do it again. And I think Rocker's learned his lesson. He'll be keeping his ugly views about other human beings to himself from now on.

I guess that's the message Major League Baseball is giving America. You can think what you want, but don't say anything. Just smile really wide, thank everyone for their support and keep your mouth shut. Even if you think we're all a bunch of bad-driving fat monkey immigrants.

Matt Worley is just prejudiced against stupid people.