So we all survived intact this weekend. The ATMs still work, the convenience stores are still convenient, the lights are still on and the toilets flush. We're fine. Everything is going great. We spent billions just to get this new year to go off without a hitch. Kind of anti-climactic, really. Couldn't there be one or two riots and burned out Wal-Marts to remember the once great and powerful Y2K bug by?

Of course not. And, just in case some of you were wondering, you're still in debt if you were a few days ago, and you're still a millionaire if that was already your fate. Nothing changed. Nothing moved. Nothing went wrong. There were even less emergencies at area hospitals in the early hours of the new year, so I guess everyone was playing it safe.

So now that we still have everything we already had, isn't it time to celebrate?

Y'know, go shopping.

How far does your dollar go in the bright first few moments of the new dawn? Let's do a little bit of comparison shopping, shall we?

24 rolls of toilet paper for $5 (20.83 cents a roll) $3 for a 4 pack of batteries, all sizes (except 9 volts, which are 2 for $3) $11.99 for a 750-ml of Jose Cuervo tequila $2 for 500 tablets of generic aspirin (.4 cents a piece) $5 for a clock or 3-pack of VHS tapes or 7-pack of 90 min. audio tapes or a telephone.

That's just necessities. Stuff you use everyday. But what about the special stuff?

New DVD player? How about $169 (bare bones, nothing extra)? Individual DVD disks are between $15.99 and $19.99. VHS-C Palmcorder with Image Stabilization: $329.99 16.8 Cu. Ft. Refrigerator: $399.99 35" Stereo TV w/ Remote: $999.99

And here's a pretty good deal. A Compaq computer (ewww, it's a PC) with 64MB RAM, 10GB hard drive, 40X CD-ROM drive, V.90 modem, 15" monitor and color inkjet printer: $399.99 minus the rebates. The only catch (there has to be a catch) is you have to sign up for 3 years of Compuserve2000 Internet service (part of AOL) at $21.95 a month ($790.20 total).

Still, considering I have a system that cost a few grand six years ago that is so much slower than anything out there today, that Compaq/AOL thing is a pretty good deal.

But here's my question. Since all this memory (back then, I had 12MB of RAM and that was good for a couple of years) and hard drive space (I have just a bit over a gig of storage) is so much cheaper these days, shouldn't other memory storage systems cost less?

Like audio CDs. They're still retailing at $15.99, just like they did way back in the early 80s. Sure, if you go to the big discount places, you can get a few titles for around $12, but that's the store taking the price down, not the manufacturer.

We can get recordable CDs for around a buck a piece--and that's not even a bulk rate. It costs the record companies less than $2 to produce these things (including reproduction, paint, printing, shrink wrap and jewel case), but they sell them for about $10 to the retail stores. I'm pretty sure the artists aren't getting the difference.

And why are cars so damn expensive? You pay at least $20,000 for a good new car. And most of them are nearly $30,000. And since no one I know has that kind of cash hanging around, they have to do it on payments, which adds ten to fifteen percent (don't forget insurance) to the cost. It's not like these are new and innovative machines. Hell, most of them get worse gas mileage than my 15-year-old landspeeder, and I bought that puppy for $5000 in 1990.

But we can get most kinds of shoes for $10 to $20 a pair (unless you want one of those swooshes on it, those things cost $40 to $60 extra), and even a breadmaker--one of the most useless appliances of the 20th century--for around $60. I guess I should watch my mouth about the breadmaker, though. I do know a few people who actually use them for more than a bookend.

So get out there with all that cash you stuffed under the mattress last week. It's worth pretty much the same as when you raided the ATM. And if you didn't succumb to the Y2K fear, those credit cards, bank cards and other alternative forms of payment can be used--same as cash.

Matt Worley does not mean to cause a rash of consumerism, he just likes looking at department store ads.