George Bush's selection of Dick Cheney as his running mate in the 2000 presidential elections has been almost universally regarded as a shrewd move. By choosing an older, seasoned politician and businessman with a great deal of foreign policy experience, Bush has effectively countered his own negatives. That Cheney hails from Wyoming, which has only three electoral votes, doesn't matter. Cheney won't alienate conservatives in any state and he won't turn off swing voters either. But he should.

Al Gore has tried to make high gas prices into an issue for the 200 election. Republicans have basically scoffed at Gore's suggestion that the oil companies took way too much advantage of the recent OPEC-mandated declines in oil production that drove per barrel prices through the roof. Well, Cheney, as the CEO of Halliburton, an oil services company is one of those people who gouged Americans at the gas line. You can't blame OPEC for the price hike, they only cut production. The oil companies and oil service companies, smelling profits in the possibility of a shortage, raised the prices. They're also the ones who haven't stored sufficient reserves to keep prices stable in the event of an OPEC cut-off. Why? Because the companies don't want to spend money stockpiling oil. Dick Cheney cares more about oil company profits than he does about you.

Just look at his reaction to the OPEC actions: "I am impressed by the extent to which OPEC seems to have got its act together. For the first time in a long time there is optimism." That's just great, Dick.

Now, some are saying that Cheney has a muddy record on Viet Nam. I don't hold that against him, I think it's great that some people got out of fighting. Cheney had a marriage deferral and a school deferral, both are good reasons not to go to war. My only problem is that he was a hawk, and it isn't fair for a hawk to sit home in the nest while doves were sent to fight against their wills. I'd be willing to forgive this transgression if he'd make a public statement apologizing to any pacifists or objectors who were sent to Viet Nam via the draft.

Well, Dick Cheyenne might not have gone to war but he is a war criminal and he has ordered American troops (volunteers, at least) into harm's way. That's my third problem with the man. As Secretary of Defense from 1989 to 1993 he helped send American troops into combat against Panama -- where we deposed President Manuel Noriega and through him into jail despite the fact that we put him in power in the first place -- and the Gulf War, where we bombed children, left the Iraqi people bereft of food and drinking water (we bombed water purification plants) and loaded up the land with spent uranium ammo (which has been linked to a rise in brain cancer among the Iraqi population.) According to George Bush's Web site, Cheney directed both those campaigns. Too bad he ignored his conscience.

Well, I'm sure more dirt will emerge as Cheney's new-on-the-scene press honeymoon ends. I can't wait to see the man knocked down a peg or two.

Michael Maiello was on the short list to be George W. Bush's running mate. Or drug dealer. The lists got all mixed up at that party...