It has passed the test in 13 other countries for years, and now it's coming to the United States of America. The abortion pill RU-486, also known as mifepristone, will be introduced in pill form for women to use as early as next month. Pro-choice people are relieved, and pro-life people are aghast. Being a male, I'm pro-staying-out-of-it when it comes to the abortion issue unless it should affect me personally, but I want to speak on behalf of the pill for a moment.

Only fifty years ago, women often had to go to back-alley surgeons without medical degrees to get an abortion. Now, in the twenty-first century (and even beforehand), a woman can take three RU-486 pills any time during the first 49 days after her last menstruation, and presto, abortion occurs. That's a pretty impressive advance in technology.

Today in the United States, 1.3 million abortions occur each year. You can argue over whether abortions are a right or a sin until the hate causes your head to explode into tiny disgusting pieces, but it still won't change the fact that abortions would occur even if they weren't legal. Since abortions are inevitable, our society might as will make the process as private and inconspicuous as possible. RU-486? IM.

I grew up in a small eastern New Mexican town called Clovis, thirty thousand people living off money from cattle and the nearby air force base. Not much for kids to do in a town of that size, so many kids got to humping each other at an early age. We had a good sized nursery at our high school, and for each girl that had a kid, I know at least that many who had abortions. I didn't know about most of the abortions until well after the fact, but that was good. It wasn't any of my business. Until I impregnate a girl (and I will, you watch), it won't be.

But there's nothing wrong with the pill. I hope anti-abortion groups won't barnstorm drug stores across the countries, smashing bottles of RU-486. I hope psychotic fanatics don't block the aisles at the Wal-Mart drug department or blow away the pharmacist behind the glass. I hope God doesn't come into the fracas. It seems like every time someone does something horrifically violent in the name of stopping abortion, they always say something about "God's Will." I just have this funny feeling that God doesn't care about our social dilemmas as much as we think. Of course, I have a few funny feelings about God.

Health experts say that mifepristone won't increase abortions, since that didn't happen in Europe (which played the role of guinea pig for the pill). RU-486 will just be a new, easier alternative to have abortion. I bet if anti-abortionists hadn't threatened and blown away abortion doctors, a pill form wouldn't have been made with such haste. Word to the wise: Don't screw with doctors, because they can make any kind of pill they want if you give them a purpose and enough time.

Okay, I tricked you a little bit. I'm pretty pro-choice about abortion. I just wanted to make the point that since abortions will happen, the pill sounds like a good idea. Yes, abortion means a couple was negligent or irresponsible. Yes, abortion means we are killing the unborn fetuses which would probably become human if cared for. Yes, abortion means that advances in technology bring up ethical and moral questions. Yes, yes, yes, but that doesn't stop them from happening.

Like I said before, it's easy for me to sit here with my testicles and talk about something that intimately deals with the female body. It won't come back to bite me in the future. But here's my stance--I'm for the pill, I'm for abortions to be as private as possible, and I'm ready for the abortion debate to disappear as soon as possible.

Chris Jungle's ejaculations always hit a rocky place where his seed can find no purchase.