I must admit I only watched one episode of "Survivor" during its Nielsen juggernaut of a first season, and it wasn't even the final episode. On June 14, I saw a bitchy lawyer named Stacey get booted off the island, and all I could think was "It's just going to go on like this." People just badmouthing and conspiring against each other. In the end, a management consultant (i.e. puppet master) named Rich ended up winning the million bucks by manipulating and conniving his fellow man. I think it's safe to say this show accurately displayed our natural instincts. Far be it from me to go against the grain, so this week, I dedicate this week's rant to what I consider four real truths.

First off, everyone is fallible, especially me. A friend chastised me roundly for stating that "Shrub was pro-choice" in my column last week. He explained to me in great detail how Shrub is not pro-choice and (to his knowledge) never has been. The reality is that I usually pound out these columns on Sunday morning while drinking two cups of coffee blended with St. Brendan's Irish Cream. Once into the flow, I've been known on occasion to type out of the side of my fingers when I didn't know the exact facts. I try to be as accurate as possible, but slip ups occur. I certainly hope no one jumped on Shrub's bandwagon because of my statement.

Second, people are disrespectful. While I was sitting with my friends in a downtown bar and grill last night, a waitress told us that two girls had just taken a couple meal plates off the counter, gone into the bathroom and scarfed down the food before getting thrown out. It is not known if these girls stuck fingers down their throats to purge afterwards. The reality is that every time a person does an act that is blatantly wrong, a negative consequence will occur. Maybe not right away, maybe not next week. But like any good Ferris Wheel operator will tell you, what goes around, comes around. I'm sure when the whammy hits those girls, they will hold their head in their hands and cry out with tears in their eyes "What did I do to deserve this?"

Third, we are slaves to what we love. I recently read an article on the New Mexican writer John Nichols who lives like a bum in Taos. His most famous book is The Milagro Beanfield War, which was later turned into a movie by Robert Redford. He has 16 published novels to his credit, but in actuality, he has written over 80 novels. They all rest on shelves in his shed, and many have multiple drafts. "I don't want to earn enough money to buy a BMW and go around town honking my horn." Nichols says, although his books have made him a considerable amount of money. "I want to do what I keep doing. I love writing, I love literature, I love the life it gives me. It means everything is interesting, relevant and fun. Everything is grist for the mill." Some people love their family and friends. Some people love sex. Some people love money and power. Some people love their hobbies. Some people love football. What do you think you love? Are you willing to be a slave for it? That's all it takes.

Lastly, you are only as interesting as you make yourself. I meet more and more people who are nostalgic for a certain time in their life. They recall the social interaction of high school, the wildness of college, or the blissful early moments of a relationship as if nothing they do now will ever compare. I meet people in their 20s and 30s who act as if the game of life is over, and they stick to the routines they have established for themselves. The reality is that you can change your stagnant lifestyle any time you want. No one is stopping you from picking up that instrument you haven't played since junior high. There's nothing wrong with taking your wife of fifteen years to the make out point at the top of the hill. Remember when you used to read? Remember when you used to have fun? Remember what you did before Survivor was a hit TV show?

Now that the show is finished, you have an extra hour each week to do whatever you want. How will you choose to survive?

Chris Jungle is not a real person, but that doesn't stop this alias from anything.