I knew the anal retentive people would eventually be the death of me. I've always felt uncomfortable in houses where every piece of furniture is strategically placed and each sink also serves as a mirror. People who obsessively clean their houses undoubtedly do the same to their bodies, constantly washing imaginary dust of their hands. They remind me of the eternally neurotic Lady MacBeth with blood on her hands. The clean people have always rubbed me the wrong way, and now their ultra-cleaning habits are starting to do some serious harm.

"Bacteria are a natural and needed part of life," microbiologist and physician Dr. Stuart Levy explains. "Dousing everything we touch with bacterial soaps and taking antibiotic medications at the first sign of a cold can upset the balance of microorganisms in and around us, leaving behind only the superbugs. By encouraging the unnatural selection of bacteria that have grown immune to most, if not all, of today's antibiotics, we unwittingly endanger global health."

Great. Wonderful. Thanks to clean freaks, the Superbugs are coming. They've used the superpowered cleaning products to kill all the good little bugs we have. Remember in Episode 1 how many midi-chlorians Anakin Skywalker had in his body? Those were little bacteria. No wonder we don't have The Force in this galaxy. We cleaned ourselves so much that we will never be Jedis. We've cleaned ourselves so much that tuberculosis is back. Tuberculosis, of all things!

Now, I'm not suggesting we become hippies or pseudo-frontiersmen who take a bath once every full moon, but our cleaning regiment needs to be loosened up a bit. If all you do during a day is sit in your car, sit in a chair at the office, sit at a booth at a restaurant and sit in front of the television that night, you are not dirty. You're pretty boring, but you didn't break much of a sweat. If you engage in exercise or some manual labor then a shower might be in order.

The ultra-cleanliness is an American quality. I went from taking a shower once a week in elementary school to every day in junior high. Why? Because everyone said that's what I was supposed to do. Everyday, I would stumble out of bed and stick me head under the spray of water hoping to shock my senses into clarity. It rarely worked, and I didn't feel cleaner. Just wet.

Europeans have more of the right idea although they tend to stray to the other extreme a bit too much. Many of them are once-a-weekers or less. I'm thinking of the happy medium. Unless you're an active individual, three or four showers a week should be plenty.

There's nothing wrong with a good shower, but you should actually be dirty when you take one, not because you haven't had one since yesterday. A good shower can lift your spirits, washing away the collected filth of a couple days, but it only works if you have a couple extra layers on you.

I have daddy long legs cobwebs on some of the corners of my house. It keeps the other insects in check, and a daddy long legs never hurt anyone. Only when I think the eight leggers are overstepping their boundaries do I whip out the broom and play natural disaster with their surroundings.

There is a layer of dust on my baseboards. There are water spots on my windows. There is unseen bacteria in my house.

But the bacteria and I get along. We hang out and don't get each other's way too often. We have an understanding. I won't be Mr. Clean, and they won't be Superbugs.

Chris Jungle is healthy filth.