I picked two fights while I was a kid, and they were both with boys I knew I could bully. The first occurred in third grade with a boy named Alex Gleatone. I couldn't tell you why I decided to push him to the ground and wrestle during recess. I embarrassed him more than I hurt him. Four years later at a boy scout meeting, John Rizzo, one of my fellow scouts, was being an all-around brat. Afterwards, I pushed him to the ground and wrestled for a couple minutes. Once again, causing him more shame than bruises. In both instances, they screamed that they would going to go home, get their father's shotgun and blow me away.

That never happened. It was just an after-fight threat in hopes of worrying the victor. But in Mount Morris, Michigan, a six year old boy brought a handgun to school to avenge a playground scuffle, shot and killed a six year old girl.

There is no question the boy had a disturbing home life. He lived in a flophouse, with guns and drugs prevalent throughout. The negligence of parenting is just as much the problem as the availability of guns. Unfortunately, there is little that can be done about idiots breeding. Something can be done about guns.

The second amendment guarantees guns can be an integral part of American life, should an individual so choose. Cries for an all-out ban are futile. Clinton talks a lot about smart guns that can only be fired by the users. This is a bunch of wasted political jargon. Smart guns? Do we really want guns with intelligence? How many times have you heard about a gun that went off accidentally? Was that a dumb gun?

What we need is mandatory gun education, and the only way that will happen is if the United States starts licensing gun users. Everyone must take a few painstakingly boring classes to learn about gun safety. Much of the class would be patronizing and full of common sense warnings, but I would feel better knowing that gun users were told about the basic safety aspects of gun ownership. I could go into Wal-Mart today and purchase a shotgun, having previously only fired a .22 rifle. I don't know where the safety is on the shotgun, I'm not entirely sure of the correct way to load it, and I definitely don't know how to clean it. But I can buy it and figure it out on my own, I'm sure. It comes with directions, right?

The people who say licensing guns is an affront to all hunters in America (i.e. the NRA) are full of it. Hunters have to register every year for what they are going to hunt. "What? Elk's full? What about bear?" Since they give up a Saturday every year to sign up for what to shoot, the tedium of obtaining a license would not burden them too much. Besides, hunters would be some of the most qualified people to teach gun safety classes. They could a few bucks off their gun knowledge.

Licensing gun owners would probably not have stopped the little six year old from shooting his classmate. But it would make the decision to own a gun a greater responsibility. At the present time, it is far too easy to buy a gun on a whim. Even if you're a responsible, god fearing, God Bless America, top shelf citizen, you should not be able to buy a gun on a whim.

Will licensing gun owners happen anytime soon? No. Will smart guns be on the market anytime soon? No. Will we accomplish anything before the next disturbing shooting occurs? No. Will I write another column at that time about why we need some form of gun control? Probably.

Alex Gleatone and John Rizzo are two characters from my past. I don't remember much else about Alex, and although we remained buddies throughout our boy scout years, I can only recall a handful of memories of John and me. Of course, if either one had followed through on their shotgun-toting threats, I'm sure I would have remembered them more, or not be around at all.

Chris Jungle is licensed to shoot the shit.