I tend to refrain from talking about some issues, assuming a story will fade away or believing the answer is so clear cut that it doesn't deserve me adding to the pointless squabbling. But sometimes, these stories don't go away. What should be a week's worth of headlines becomes a month-long tit-for-tat battle of interviews and court orders.

The latest unnecessary hot topic involves Elian Gonzalez, the 6-year-old Cuban boy in America. Just as a quick recap, Elian sailed on a boat from Cuba to the United States about a month ago. In the process, the boat did not survive the journey, leaving many refugees dead, including Elian's mother. His biological father, still in Cuba, had separated from the mother earlier and now wants the boy to live with him. Elian's Cuban-American relatives want him to be able to stay in the United States with them. So, should he stay or should he go?

The INS says he should go, the Attorney General says he should go, more than half the American people say he should go, and just like them, I say he should go, too (sometimes, I actually agree with the majority).

My reason has nothing to do with loving Castro or disliking immigrants and refugees. It has nothing to do with how his father would raise him compared with his Miami relatives. It has nothing to do with what's legally possibly or loopholes in the system. My reason is this. In the eyes of Cubans, Elian Gonzalez is a Cuban. In the eyes of Americans, Elian Gonzalez is a Cuban.

I believe he will be treated well in either country. Castro will ensure that the boy has the finest living Cuba has to offer. Elian's upbringing will be closely scrutinized for awhile with updates and 'Where Are They Now' stories every two or three years, so it is in Cuba's interest to raise the boy to the best of their ability. If raised in the United States, the same media coverage would occur, but the boy wouldn't represent anything. He'd be just another kid in Miami. In America, the goal is to blend everyone into one pulpy mass, and I believe Elian would grow up a fairly healthy anonymous American kid.

But his father wants him in Cuba. Cuba wants him in Cuba. It's not every day that an entire country AND a child's parent want the same thing. My father was definitely second in command at my household, but if for some reason my mother wasn't around, he called the called the shots. Not the United States. Did you ever pull the "it's a free country" line on your parents? Remember what happened?

But what about the American relatives? What about all of their hard work and love and compassion and passionate rhetoric into microphones? Are they to be left in the cold?

All right, I've come up with a scenario that will throw them a bone. I have no idea about the legalities of the proposal I'm about to suggest, but I'm an Internet columnist, Jim. Not a lawyer!

Elian Gonzalez should be returned to his father to live his childhood in Cuba. Upon his eighteenth birth, Elian would receive dual citizenship in both Cuba and the United States. After being reared for the next twelve years in Cuba, Elian could return to the United States to live his adult years if he so chooses. He would really get the best of both worlds. He would be a hero to one country with the option to live anonymously in the other when he's older.

Everyone gets something. Everyone has the potential to ultimately win, everyone has the potential to lose. Kind of like life. Except that it's not like life once the media gets involved. It becomes a difficult, intricate process with no solutions and must go on for months instead of days. The OJ case should have lasted a month, the impeachment process should have taken two weeks, Elian Gonzalez's fate should have been solved in a day.

But what would we talk about? What would we discuss? What would we debate? God forbid we take stock in our own lives and decide what we really need to work on. We've already made and broken our New Year's resolutions. We don't have to try to improve again until next year. But let me tell what they should do about that Cuban boy. Because if there's one thing we Americans know how to do, it's ignoring our own dilemmas and telling others how to fix theirs.

Let's give Elian a few years in Cuba before he has to figure that out.

Chris Jungle grew up an anonymous American kid. Mission accomplished.