I made a prediction last week. I told friends that I thought the Seminole and Martin County malfeasance cases were Al Gore's best hope. Yes, the arguments behind them were contrary to his legal philosophy, but see, since he'd been getting pounded on that front (with judges actually seeming to pay attention to the letter of certain laws and all), I figured in the one set of cases where he had decent law on his side (instead of the noble, but only vaguely legal notion of "let all votes be counted"), he'd win.

As you might have noticed, I was wrong.

And then, after the Florida Supreme Court issued its stunning ruling ording hand recounts (and ratifying the "let all votes be counted" concept), every prognosticator in the book said the U.S. Supreme Court would stay out, and in any case, it surely wouldn't order a stay.

Wrong again.

In fact, before every major twist in the presidential election saga, the experts (and not-so-experts like me) have been wrong. Really, really wrong. Whenever an outcome seems certain (I kept waiting on Friday for the anouncement that Al Gore would be "speaking to the nation"--conceding, in other words), something comes up to set the lawyers back in motion.

Here's where we stand: George Bush is up by three runs on the bottom of the 23rd inning. There are two outs, bases loaded and Al Gore has to bat his pitcher. Everyone's awfully tired, so the pitcher knows he has to swing for the fences.

Chances are, George W. Bush will be our next president. Chances are, the U.S. Supreme Court will decide the question by a 5-4 decision, which is only fitting. Nothing in this election has come easily. Bush was supposed to sweep to victory, but Gore had a good convention. Gore was supposed to kick Bush's ass in the debates. He did, on the merits (as indeed, Nixon did to Kennedy in 1960), but this isn't the forensic league and smiling like a vacant fool wins a lot of votes on TV. Advantage Bush. And then, when Bush once again seemed sure of victory, that old DWI case (not to mention Dick Cheney's two similar citations) broke. A rattled W started uttering Bushisms left and right. Yikes.

Who knows what turned this election in the end? That it all hinges on Florida, the most quintessentially American state (demographically, ideologically, etc.), is most fitting. That Bush's brother is the governer just turns this into what might be Elmore Leonard's (or Carl Hiaasen's) magnum opus. Except, of course, that both authors have declined the opportunity to embellish upon the truth, given the utter weirdness of the facts.

Want to know how scary this story is? Even Hunter S. Thompson won't write a book about it. Okay, Bob Woodward and his posse of interns have already signed a multi-million dollar book contract, but geez, who wants to read the boring version of this tale? And trust me, if anyone could drain the life out of this election, it's Bob Woodward.

Two years ago (at least), Bush and Gore thought they wanted to be president. I'm sure if you asked either of them now, they'd request a deferment. "Can I wait until 2004? How about 2008?"

There are those who think that the election mess is diminishing the office of the presidency. Not true. The office of the presidency has been in decline at least since George Washington said goodbye and handed over the job to John Adams. Don't beleive me? Talk to a historian. All those presidents that we revere today like Jefferson and Lincoln and such? They had serious opposition in their day. Newspapers wrote astonishingly crude things about these men while they were in office. And the guys had serious problems of their own. Jefferson and Lincoln were incredibly lucky to be elected in the first place. Both had terrible speaking voices. Both were, shall we say, on the homely side. Both had "crazy" wives (though "hysteria" has come to be interpreted these days as what happened to intelligent, capable women when they realized that they couldn't vote, speak in public or in any other meaningful way contribute to society). In other words, even the presidential gods have warts. It's only the plastic surgery of "historical" mythmaking that makes these guys look so perfect.

The thing is, we've never really trusted our leaders. It says so right in the Declaration of Independence: "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another..." That clause is so open to interpretation I'm surprised we don't have more militias. Or more revolutions like the ones Jefferson himself pined for from time to time.

Not convinced? Take the Constitution itself: "We the people, in order to form a more perfect union..." More perfect? Oh, man, talk about your doctrine of works trumping your doctrine of grace! We've got to be more perfect? Geez. No wonder we can't get this election finished up. Though, to be fair, all of us can think of many ways to make this election more perfect. But then we run into that damn "changing the rules" thing that the U.S. Supreme Court got all hot and bothered about. Just when we thought we were out of the woods...

To wrap this up, Al Gore's pitcher is still batting in the bottom of the 23rd inning. He's down in the count 0-2. The pitch: Oh, Bush's hurler grooved a fastball down the middle of the plate! The pitcher swings...

The Great Election of 2000 is still great entertainment for Jon Worley.