A cynic remarked to me, "You know, with gas prices so high, I figure they've gotta release the sanctions on Iraq and Iran one of these days."

After a number of stories in the major news outlets about "the new Iran" and "Islamic democracy," last week the United States lifted sanctions on Iranian Persian rugs and cashews. Can anyone doubt that oil is really far behind?

I'm guessing the relaxing of sanctions has more to do with the recent Iranian elections than the gas freakout. But even so, I think this is probably a good time to talk about the stupidity of trying to freeze out a nation.

Like, say, Cuba. The U.S. has spent more than 40 years trying to make Cuba an international pariah. All that's done is cause businessmen to find "official" reasons to stop off in Toronto and buy cigars.

Oh, yeah, there's also that international bully rap we get, too. And that's where the picture can return to Iran.

Look at the last 50 years from the standpoint of the average Iranian. We installed the Shah on his refurbished Peacock Throne, replacing a leader that had significant popular support. The Shah then decided to impose a police state, sending lots of folks into exile (like the Ayatollah Khomeni) and killing those dissenters who dared stay. Then the Shah singlehandedly decided to "Westernize" his nation, which is about as stupid as trying to "Westernize" a confirmed New Yorker.

Hey, when Khomeni rolled in from Paris (and the Shah rolled out), I'd have been dancing in the streets, even if I was holding some bootleg booze under my robes. The Shah was, to use a word that shouldn't be used lightly, a motherfucker. And we gave him his power. Of course a lot of Iranians were pissed off at America.

That doesn't excuse the taking of the embassy (or the sanctioning of that event by the mullahs), but it does help explain it. Hey, when you can get in a few free punches at the bully, you take them. Maybe, if you punch hard enough he'll get off you for good. Of course, in this case, that didn't happen. Wouldn't be manly to just let Iran go its own way. America must exact its pound of flesh when wronged, or it just isn't standing up for itself.

Speaking of that pound of flesh, let's not forget that we shot down an Iranian passenger jet not long after the Russians took out that Korean liner. Yes, we apologized (in much the same terms as the Russians) and we handed over a little cash, but it sure didn't sound sincere to me.

So by my count, we've gotta few mea culpas (mea culpi?) to give. And Madeleine Albright did just that, apologizing for the Shah and also for arming Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq war.

The bully gets down and eats a little crow. You'd be surprised at how that changes the climate of things. Why, even the French are talking about how nice it is that America has pulled the corncob out of its ass on the whole Iranian thing.

Imagine if Bill Clinton's real legacy is opening up ties to Vietnam, North Korea, Iran and ... Cuba? It's not quite like surfing the Great Wall with Chairman Mao, but then, what is? We don't need to be picking on these little guys any more. It's time to take on someone our own size. Like, maybe, us.

Now there's a country with some real issues.

Jon Worley is prahd to be an Amurrcun.