Turns out that there was a time when the universe was so hot that (visible) light did not (indeed, could not) exist. And scientists can "see" the remnants of this universal condition using something cool called an x-ray telescope. Also, it seems that there might have been an awful lot of black holes back in those "olden days." At least, a lot of this energy seems to be coming from black holes and other dark matter.

I was a little bit early for the Superchunk show a week or so ago, and I ducked into a bookstore and saw this story sitting on the front page of the New York Times. Hey, I thought it was cool, but top story? As Keanu said (just the once) in The Matrix, "Whoah!"

Okay, okay, as a semi-trained journalist I know that the story that sits just below the flag of the paper is rarely the "top" story (don't ask about the logic behind this; I'm guessing it was conceived right about the time as "objectivity"). "Above the fold" (which is the part of the paper that you can see when the newspaper is in a box) is still prime placement. This was an important science story.

Whaddya know, that silly Jewish fable about the sky and the firmament and "let there be light" sounds a little more realistic than it did before.

Yes, yes, the scientists are correct when they point out that the energy their telescope "sees" is indeed light energy, but humans can't see it, and so it isn't "light" proper.

Presumably, God can see all light, everything in the ultraviolet and infrared spectrums. He can see everything, right?

The story didn't mention any theological implications, and neither did the radio show on the subject I heard last week. But I think we oughta consider some of them.

First, "Let there be light" does take on an important new meaning. I mean, it's all very possible that God might have said, "Let there be light within the violet to red continuum." Maybe the original Aramaic just couldn't handle God's lingo at the time. The translators aren't talking.

And as for the whole "dark matter" thing, well, maybe Satan got cast out a little earlier than the prophets thought. Maybe he was gone even before light, and, like the greedy bastard he is, he is even now trying to steal as much matter as possible by sucking it into black holes.

There is so much information here for the aspiring creation scientist to assimilate. A treasure trove, really. I mean, now that even the best scientists admit that there was a universe without light, can full acceptance of creation be far behind?

Look at it this way: There is a fairly solid theory that most, if not all, galaxies have black holes at their centers, that these immense gravity sinks are part of what helps hold the galaxies together. Why couldn't that black hole be a physical representation of hell? It surely can't be pleasant to be sucked into subatomic particles by a force that is incomprehensible, right?

And what force is truly incomprehensible? God, of course. So maybe God lives in a black hole. After all, these black holes apparently had a lot to do with the creation of the universe. Maybe God is a black hole.

But wait. I said earlier that Satan was a black hole. That would mean that either this whole notion is toast and I have to start over (geez) or that God=Satan=black holes. The first would man way too much work (my speculation drive ran out of gas a while ago) and the second would mean that a cult would have to be built around this heretical belief.

I like the second notion better. Donations to the Church of the Divine Unity will be accepted soon.

Jon Worley looks up in the sky and sees space junk.