Back in a time when most heads weren't turned towards the Pacific Northwest, an amazingly talented and brilliant man died from an overdose of heroin. The news was not splashed across every newspaper in the country. Most music magazines relegated the death to a news & notes column. Not many outside of Seattle cared that much. His bandmates and friends from the then-clan-like music scene gathered, held each other and let out a sigh for the dead heart and soul of what would become a worldwide phenomenon.

Andrew Wood of Mother Love Bone was dead. After trying valiantly to kick the drug, he relapsed in March of 1990, feeling whatever mixture of joy and pain he derived from the drug for the last time. It was his death that made me move away from Seattle later in the fall. It was his death that spawned the collection of Chris Cornell songs called Temple Of The Dog. It was his death that caused two of his former bandmates to form Pearl Jam. Ultimately, it was his death that allowed the rest of the scene to break ranks and become the SEATTLE music scene, led somewhat accidentally by a band that wasn't from Seattle.

I know it's all very cryptic, but we're talking about death here. Over six years ago it affected my life so much, I had to make a change. My closest experience with heroin was a boyfriend who ended up liking the needle better than my company--that was enough to keep me away. It's way easier to deal with pothead boyfriends after you've seen someone nodding so hard they can barely get the needle back out. But losing Andy was more like a kick in the stomach, a bad punch line to a joke that wasn't funny in the first place. All I had was memories of his sometimes over the top performances and a couple of CDs. Somehow it isn't fair that Andy is a footnote (or forgotten altogether) in the recent discussion of heroin--but the press wants the big story.

The big story now is that a backup keybordist of the Smashing Pumpkins (currently the biggest alternative band in the world apparently) died while shooting up with their drummer. Both were fired, although for the keybordist it was academic. And the actor Robert Downey, Jr. Can't forget him. The list could go on (and the list will get a little longer before this is done). Do we only get concerned when important celebrity people who make a lot of money die? That seems to be the point here, even though seemingly important celebrity people have been dying once or twice a year ever since Andy (and even before him...but it's my time line). Are we now saying six years later that enough is enough? Have we all been blind hypocrites long enough?

Here's the real problem. There is a tendency to lump everything together in this country. Everyone wants a nice little package to show everyone, and if it looks nice, no one asks questions. Nod your head, smile and everything is fine. Just say no kids, all drugs are bad. All drugs are illegal, so all drugs are the same. This isn't true, but if you can only be black and white in your description, no one can see the terrific amount of gray colors in between.

Not to officially condone anything (God forbid we tell people some drugs are better, or safer, than others), but all drugs don't affect your body in the same way. If there is one thing people should remember about everything in life, it's that moderation is key. Remember drinking until you blacked out? Yeah, that next day sucked, didn't it? Luckily your body was able to shut off before it got poisoned to death. The problem with many drugs (heroin is definitely included in this) is that you can get poisoned on the first shot. The black out could be the final bye bye.

I say could because it doesn't always happen that way. There are no absolutes. You shouldn't overeat. You shouldn't overdrink. And you shouldn't overshoot. If people could realize what the appropriate amount is (and education in moderation would help with this, but saying anything about moderation is not allowed because it is saying it's okay to do some) things would be different. What happens, especially with teenagers, is that they do something once and they don't die. So they do a little more, or a little of something different. Hey, it's more interesting than re-run TV. And it even makes re-run TV more interesting sometimes.

The two prevailing reasons people die from heroin are from quitting and then relapsing (their tolerance goes down, but when they relapse they don't realize this and shoot too much), or doing too much the first time (inexperience). I think the obvious answer to these problems is pretty clear, but then I'd be pulling a Nancy Reagan. My answer is that I'm scared of heroin--so much I think I can live without going there.

As for the current nationwide love affair with heroin, well it's a phase. Everything is cyclical in the drug world. The answer isn't to stop playing bands that do drugs on the radio (I think we'd have a lot of stations broadcasting dead air). The answer isn't to tie down the kids for a good, long lecture. The answer is to be truthful about everything. Read up on drugs, their affects and side-affects and talk to the kids like the adults they think they are. No one likes to be talked down to--think about it.

Now that I've pulled out all the old feelings from the closet, I'm realizing that it's easier to take now. But that doesn't mean I don't get a little depressed when I listen to Apple by Mother Love Bone. It was supposed to fuel a temptation which would be satiated by further releases. Instead it was the obituary of an amazing soul.

Lisa Black is currently rearranging her closet, putting together her new fall wardrobe. The abundance of long sleeves is for warmth only.