1. Temperance--Eat not to dulness. Drink not to elevation.

My temperance comes and goes. I don't gorge myself on pizza just to finish the pie, but do still fill my glass to finish the pitcher of beer. Ben wasn't very keen on drinking altogether, so I probably have some more work to do.

2. Silence--Speak not but what may benefit others and yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.

Ben had a lot of trouble with this one, and I have my slip ups too. It's harder than it seems to shut up and listen. I prefer engaging in one-on-one conversations rather than in larger groups, usually because group chats tend to get rather trifling. I still have a habit of blurting out senseless nonsense, especially after elevated drinking.

3. Order--Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.

This may be the best thing I do. I have a part time day job, write pieces for a local weekly A/E paper, pound out this column every week, exercise, read, sleep long hours, contemplate and still have enough time to be lazy and unproductive. Hooray!

4. Resolution--Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.

I fight the good fight and push myself to continue my unprofitable writing ambitions. Performing without fail is another story.

5. Frugality--Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

I'm pretty frugal, and I chalk that up to living poorly for a few years. Once you realize you can survive below the poverty level, life doesn't seem as complex otherwise. I won't say I waste nothing, but I don't waste much.

6. Industry--Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.

Just when I thought I was somewhat virtuous, Ben had to throw this one in. See, I have a pot habit, and the NBA and NHL playoffs are on TV, and there's this flick I rented, and I don't want to do any work today, and my friends invited me to play pool, and I just got this CD, and...

7. Sincerity--Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

Not as sincere as I could be. I tease, but I try not to hurt. I don't think innocently, but I do think justly. When I speak, much of it is not in accordance. But I do care, man.

8. Justice--Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Not only do I think justly, I also act justly. I've never felt good about screwing anyone over. It's part of my super hero complex.

9. Moderation--Avoid extremes. Forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

I'm in a constant battle to keep everything under control. This view of moderation isn't so much about drinking as it is about being in control of our emotions. Not an easy task at all. Those mood swings can be real buggers.

10. Cleanliness--Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.

I'm not clean, but I'm not filthy either. Just a little dusty.

11. Tranquillity--Be not disturbed at trifles or at accidents common or unavoidable.

I'm pretty much a mellow guy. I rarely get full blown upset anymore, even while I'm driving. And I live in Albuquerque.

12. Chastity--Rarely use venery but for health or offspring--never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

It seems like all of my venery is out of weakness or an injury to the peace.

13. Humility--Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

What can I say? I'm trying.

Franklin, himself, admitted it was impossible to live up to his own virtues. He kept documented accounts of his progress, picking a specific virtue to work on each week and letting the others fall as they may. This created a 13 week cycle which could be repeated four times a year. Although Ben never successfully mastered these virtues and gave up the active practice over time, he felt he was a better person for trying.

Want to try?

Chris Jungle is trying real hard to be the shepherd.